Writer On The Roam

Prices in Cuenca: 2012 Vice Squad Edition

2012-01-26T09:00:00.000-08:00

In 2010, I posted up about the prices for cigarettes, alcohol, and recreational drugs in Cuenca. It's turned out to be one of my more popular posts, but with the passage of time my education has expanded and my pricing has gone outdated. So, new for 2012, here's the Vice Squad edition of Cuenca prices, moving from mild vices to more serious, um, adventure items:

Coffee: The price of coffee in Cuenca has gone up slightly over the last two years, driven in part by poor local harvests. We had some damp years and one of the major suppliers moved into a new niche. There's also been an increase in artisanal and organic coffee in Cuenca, which naturally costs more. Expect a cup of joe to set you back at least 60 cents, with prices moving up past $2 in some of your nicer cafes.
Pack of cigarettes: $1.85 plus whatever your local tienda adds as a mark up. $2 is common for a full pack of Lider, the dominant local brand. Also note that since 2010, Cuenca has passed a law against indoor smoking in restaurants and public places.
Cocktails/Booze: Oddly, cocktails seem to be coming down a bit, depending where you are drinking them. Well drinks and glasses of wine start at $2 and move up from there. Do expect to pay $5+ for top shelf or cocktails at more upscale/gringo oriented establishments. Discount happy hours and bargain glasses are available, but you drink what you pay for!
Beer: Beer is still in two sizes as reported before, with Club starting to edge Pilsner as the dominant local beer after some fun price wars in the supermarkets. At the store, you'll pay around 60 cents for a small beer, which will be $1 in cheap bars and $1.50 - $3 or more in upscale/gringo bars. For "grandes" your local tienda will hook you up for about $1, while the average going rate in the bars is $2 (more or less, depending where you are drinking). If you don't like the local stuff, Heineken is making some distribution inroads at bars, while SuperMaxi now has Budweiser.
Condoms: $2.80 (ish) for three. These are sold at pharmacies and most supermarkets, though not always in sections one might think of as logical. Duo, Lifestyles and Trojans are the big brands. as the major foreign players. The day after pill equivalent is a local tea designed to start menstruation, and Ecuador leads South America in illegal abortions due to the strict official stance against it. Be careful out there!
Sex stores: In 2010 I didn't know where these were. Now I do - hunt down "Sexy Locuras" on the street next to SuperMaxi El Vergel - it's the pink thing next to the soccer shop. Apparently a chain.
Bribing the police: $10 and up, depending on the offense. I'm throwing this in there just in case you get up to something in the next section. Ask nicely, "Como podemos solucionar este?" (How can we solve this?) Traffic offenses will be the easiest to get out of (speeding, license issues) and remember, not everyone will take your money.
Hookers: $6 and up. Pay more than $6 for your hooker. Ecuador's STD stats are frightening - that's all I'm saying. May be found near the Terminal Terrestre (main bus station) or in the brothel area (ask your taxi driver). Those near the bus station are frequently transvestites, and crime in that area remains high, especially late at night.
Marijuana: Minor possession of marijuana is legal in Ecuador (one of two countries in South America with the loophole). You may score a hit of low grade stuff for $5 or $10, with pricing moving up sharply from there. I continue to be surprised at the number of retiree users in Ecuador. To buy, put it out there that you are interested and local expats will help you network in (but do realize not everyone here knows or is interested in helping you find pot, especially on a first meeting).
Hallucinogenics: San Pedro cactus will set you back 25 cents to a dollar a chunk at almost every local market. Preparation instructions are on the Internet. Jungle trips for Iowaska adventures start at around $40 and go way up past $200 depending on the shaman and tour package you're doing with it.
OTC medications: Codeine blend pills are readily available, and can be purchased individually or in packs from your local pharmacy, generally without a prescription. More intense stuff you'll need a prescription to get and Vicodin level stuff is very hard to source.
Cocaine: $10 and up. I've heard mixed reviews of the effects at Cuenca's altitude - evidently it is not as good as lower elevations. I have no idea on the science on that, nor do I have any first hand experience. In terms of buying, no, I don't know anyone, and nor have I seen/heard much in the way of news on other drugs.

And that's the 2012 update. Anyone want to (anonymously) report how this compares to their own area back home?

Talking to the Taxis

2012-01-15T12:04:00.000-08:00

One of the fun things I get to do almost everyday is talk to my taxi drivers. I run with a taxi crew I call "the grandpas" and they probably know me better than anyone else now!

Riding with the grandpas happened by accident. Moving into the place on El Batan, we noticed there was a taxi syndicate stand just up the street. I didn't use them at first, but then I started to appreciate the convenience of having taxis waiting for me whenever I wanted one without having to call for a ride. And so we began spending a lot of time (and money) together.

The grandpas got their name because the group is anchored by two drivers who are (approximately) 100 years old each. Riding with one of them terrifies me because he can't really see over the wheel and big cars seem to scare him. He is also cranky about people trying to give him anything other than exact change - but he's there in the afternoons when I need a ride, and that's just how it goes.

The other truly ancient driver is adorable, especially this season. Apparently they decided that since they have foreigners as regular riders, they should learn some English. He has mastered "Good Afternoon" which he tells me every morning on my way to getting a ride for my 9 am class.

It's not that no one in the group speaks English - some of them worked in the States, and many are much younger. Out of the 30+ cars in the syndicate, I know 6 of the drivers well enough to have their life stories. Chatting in traffic, you can pick up a lot - Bruno, for example, says he's relieved to have left his delivery route in NYC because taking bread to the Italian bakeries meant getting involved with the mafia and you know, those Russians are crazy.

We chat about visa issues, the weather, vacations, my students, their kids, and anything else that comes up. Many women riding alone in Cuenca complain that their taxi drivers hit on them - not my regular guys! They're married (one with 6 kids!) and besides, at 3 - 4 rides a day sometimes, they already know all about me and my boyfriend.

It is sometimes a check that I have to watch what I share - the taxi guys have lots of time on slow days to share stories. Everybody knows when I'm on vacation, doing exams for the school, upset about something at work, etc, etc - even the drivers I don't talk with regularly. On the other hand, I know quite a bit about their habits and lives, too, so I suppose it evens out in the grand scheme of things.

The other thing that evens out is the price I pay for taxis. As a regular, I pay the minimal fare for everything - something I'm reminded of when I dare to ride with another set of drivers. Cuenca has more than 100 taxi syndicates, some of which have over 70 cars. They can set their own rates for fares from their home base spot to the rest of the city, but good luck finding out what those rates are without being a regular rider, and good luck getting the best rates with a random cab hailed off the street. That's just the way it goes, and I'm lucky to have a set of good cabbies I can trust since I live in one part of the city and work in another.

So do come for a visit - fares are down for 2012 to Ecuador, and then you, too, can talk with my taxis.

Fresh Thoughts For 2012

2012-01-07T16:04:00.000-08:00

2011 came and went in a flash.

The last few months seemed like a race - each day was a marathon and I was not trained up to take it! After resolving that 2012 would be my year to really be healthy, I started the year with a hideous cold and lost voice, no doubt as things finally slowed down a bit and my body gave itself permission to be ill (I was not consulted). Still, better now and getting started on 2012 in force ... just a little late.

This week wraps up the writing class I have been teaching at the local university. You may remember that I thought this would be fun and interesting to do - and I can say that it has definitely been interesting and eye-opening. During a season when the university as a whole is campaigning for academic excellence, my class grades have enjoyed the active involvement of the administration, and the final projects were cancelled in favor of a multiple choice test. For a writing class. When I am back in NE in March, stop me and ask me more about that - it's a nice bit of local drama that helped eat all my spare time in December.

When the class is over, what will I do with my extra time? Write, naturally, but also explore. This summer will mark one of the major turnovers in Cuenca - we have multiple friends who are leaving and they are all bemoaning that they haven't seen enough of Ecuador. So we are resolving that we will cross more places off our list. Over the Christmas break, I got to see a number of the outlying towns, some major Inca ruins, and the coast of Ecuador (ocean at last!). This year, I want to see more of the coast and some of the museums here in the city, since the exhibits rotate and I should probably do more than just ignore them.

Packing in touristic activities locally will help warm me up for the year as a whole - I have five big trips planned and am sure some little ones will get tucked in there, too. I laugh that I'm approaching them as "travel at last!" trips - because you know I just haven't done any traveling in the last few years :-)

Here's to a new year, starting late for me but certainly underway. How's your new year going?

A Certain Comfort In Routines

2011-10-11T16:02:00.000-07:00

I just settled in to my "Tuesday Night" spot, and I had to laugh at myself, because not only I tell a friend to find me at "the usual place" but I also noticeably relaxed once I was settled in.

Since when am I a creature of habit? (Staff at the Kookaburra, don't answer that!)

What was it, three days ago and I was whining about the status of my adventure, and now I am enjoying my routine? We humans are nothing if not contradictions, apparently.

Still, there are cafes and corners all over the world that I think of as mine. A visit back to any one of my old haunts brings the same sense of relaxation, even after years. I'm nostalgic for the tapas bar on the square in Alcala, 36th & Hennepin's Dunn Brother's Coffee, the outside balcony at Shanghai's Porterman Hotel, the dive-y Indian place on the first floor of Tennoji Station, Vietnamese Frog in Shinsaibashi, Tin's Hall. I randomly crave Burma SuperStar in San Francisco and Lincoln's Lamar's Donuts. It's inexplicable, but all these scattered threads are pieces of me or happy memories in one form or another.

Readers, how about you? What are your places?

Adventure, Humpf.

2011-10-07T23:46:00.001-07:00

It's 2 am and I have a splitting headache. I spent the earlier part of my evening being quite ill from something I ate, and now I'm sitting up thinking about Tim Mills and China.

For those of you new to my backstory, I spent two years in Asia just after I graduated from college. Ask me about it now and I'll tell you I loved it, China significantly more than Japan. In my biggest "that's it, I've had it" moments, the next step is usually running off back to Shanghai. It was an adventure that truly reshaped my internal landscape, and one I'm never going to forget.

Tim Mills comes into the story as a tangent. My Tim Mills connection is Spain, where he and I studied abroad way back in the dark ages before the Euro. We kept in touch - still do - since he is one of the most grounded and level-headed people I know.

One January I called him up and was just venting. I'd come back from Christmas to discover that my boss had fought with the school where I taught, so now I had no job. My Polish boyfriend had announced he was moving back to Poland. There was snow, crappy job interviews, and other various life annoyances. A perfect situation for a pity party, until Tim Mills cut me off.

"You moved to China to have an adventure, right?"

"Well, yeah."

"Who said it had to be fun?"

That made me laugh and snapped me out of it the worst of the woe-is-me mindset I'd slipped into. Good, bad, ugly and incomprehensible, I was definitely having an adventure in China.

What, then, does this have to do with Cuenca? As you may have guessed, I've been creeping into the woe-is-me mindset again. I went took a wonderful, highly enjoyable vacation back to the States at the end of August, and since I've come back to Cuenca its been a bit of one thing after another. Friends have announced they are leaving, work has been overwhelming, and as the locals will testify, for the past couple of week the weather has been lousy. Woe, woe, mope, woe.

I've got to snap out of it.

I'm in the middle of an adventure, and one that's going to close out the year full of new experiences. Here's what's on tap:

Classes: I'm teaching a business writing course, and for a semester final my students are going to be building Facebook pages in English for local businesses. How fun will that be? I'm excited for it, even if I'm a bit suspicious about the quality of my students after one of them asked me today if we could get rid of Friday classes since they are "inconvenient" to attend.
Writing: At the end of October I'm going to the AWAI Bootcamp, a major copywriting conference and job fair event. I've wanted to go for two years now, so I am super psyched up about attending. I'm also terrified - more than 300 of my peers will be there and the speakers are some of my copywriting inspirations. In the flesh. Eek!
Christmas & New Years: In a major change from the norm, I won't be home for Christmas (boo!) because my boyfriend's parents are coming to Cuenca and then taking us to the beach. This is a yay. I think. Maybe? It will definitely be an adventure!

So, even though in the day-to-day I'm moping around a bit, there really is a lot that will happen between now and the end of the year. Somewhere in there I'm hoping that my buoyant spirit of adventure returns. Until then, I'm off to find some aspirin for my headache and cross my fingers that I can keep it down long enough to get some sleep!

Ecuador's Sleepy Vacation Season

2011-08-16T12:19:00.000-07:00

Europeans aren't the only ones who love a good long vacation in August. Ecuadorians are also big fans of taking a few weeks off in the month of August. School is out of session, so most families are itching for the chance to get away, and the business culture seems to support the idea of taking off for an annual big vacation.

Where do Ecuadorians go on vacation? It depends. Many who have family in the States and the ability to get a US visa (this is getting increasingly difficult) head for the States. The big "family visit" destinations are to the Ecuadorian communities in New York, Chicago, and Miami. However, I feel a bit sorry for my students heading toward the States - Cuenca's summer months have been unseasonably cold and wet, with July being absolutely miserable. Moving from 40 degrees and rainy to 100+ degrees in a muggy urban environment? Yuck, even if the shopping is better.

Other popular vacation destinations are the beaches. Manabi, Montanita, and Salinas all get a certain amount of vacationers in August, but Caribbean, Columbian, and Peruvian beaches are considered to be more of a getaway. I don't know what the travel advertisers in Punta Cana did to secure the loyalty of the Ecuadorian public, but hitting resorts in this Dominican Republic beach zone is considered to be a top vacation choice.

Europe and Asia don't seem to be on the travel radar except for those at the very top end of the financial scale. Tickets are just flat-out expensive to get from here to there, making destinations closer to home more popular. Ecuadorians seem to be pretty big fans of domestic travel, showing a lot of love for their own jungle and volcano attractions.

Still, with a significant proportion of the population on vacation, Cuenca is a sleepy little town. When people here are on vacation, they don't answer their phone or check their email. Employees report that their bosses are on vacation as though that's a perfectly acceptable explanation for why you can't have what you need until the 1st of September - and here, that's just the way it goes.

This travel bug is a bit contagious. A large number of my friends here are taking trips back to the states throughout August and early September, channeling the Ecuadorian way. It's all about shopping, visiting family, and spending one or two days on a beach. In the meantime, Ecuador's main streets seem a bit depopulated and extra quiet as everyone settles in to enjoy the sleepy vacation season.

Ecuador's President Renamed A Series Of Unprintable Words On Wikipedia

2011-08-10T08:56:00.001-07:00

Ecuador's President hasn't been making many friends within the media community lately, to the point that Anonymous currently has the country under attack. One of the crowning jewels showed up this morning on Wikipedia.

I can't print it. I won't even put up a picture. Just read the new name for Rafeal Correa on Wikipedia. If your version has no obscenities used as middle and last names under "Spanish naming conventions", then it's been caught. If not, well, this is a gem that insults both Correa and his mother.

I'm sharing because in the midst off all the political trash talking going on about the situation in the US, it really doesn't compare to what happens on the political scene. Also, can you imagine if this happened in the States?

What Music Ecuadorian Kids Listen To These Days

2011-07-20T13:50:00.000-07:00

One of the fun things about working with high school aged Ecuadorians is getting glimpses into the forces that are influencing them. The other day we had some work time in class and one of the kids asked if we could put on some music. I told them yes, but I didn't have any. Not to worry - Ecuador is one of the only countries I've lived in where people actually use the MP3 player feature on their phones. As the class shared the favorite pieces from their collections, I got to hear:

Katy Perry - Firework & Teenage Dream
Queen - We Are The Champions
Lady Gaga - Poker Face
The Village People - Y.M.C.A. (Although when I said, oh how appropriate since we are studying hotels, they were shocked. They didn't realize that a YMCA is a place you can stay. They thought it was a resort or disco).
Poison - Every Rose Has Its Thorn
Taylor Swift - Romeo
Kenny Loggins - Highway To The Danger Zone
The Cranberries - Zombie

There wasn't one Spanish language song among the lot, and the kids were pretty surprised I knew the words to any of them since I'm old enough to be their collective mother. Still, we had a pretty fun class while they made posters ... and how does this list compare to your perceptions of what music Ecuadorians like?

Cuenca: A Home For America's Economic Refugees?

2011-07-17T14:42:00.000-07:00

Americans visiting Cuenca used to talk about the climate, the culture, and the opportunities for new businesses in the city. Increasingly, they are talking about economics. Not local economics, but American economics. The idea is that they want to get out while the getting's good, and want to know if Cuenca's the right place to ride out America's imminent financial doom.

I've had a surprising number of conversations lately that focus on getting out of the US dollar and escaping the US economy. Many of the people quizzing me about my international life aren't planning to join me in the Freelance Kingdom - they are really just running. Running from the idea of retiring in debt, running from the idea of long-term unemployment, and running from the idea of losing it all, once and for all.

To be honest, these people inspire two emotions in me: Fear and Pity. The fear is rather contagious - the latest crew of American arrivals in Cuenca seem to be genuinely afraid of just about everything. Talk to them for a while and you, too, will start to wonder if tomorrow you will wake up to the wreckage of a midnight Armageddon. On the other hand, I really pity some of these people, because in their fearful mindset, they are shortening their lives by stressing themselves out something ridiculous.

It's not to say that all of their fears are groundless, or that Cuenca is necessarily a poor choice for waiting out the Greater Depression. Last time I checked, yes, the US economy still stank, and yes, the cost of living in Cuenca is significantly lower than a similar US lifestyle. However, cheaper does not always mean better for every situation, and cost of living isn't the only metric to use.

Cuenca's culture is very different from that of the United States. It can be warm and welcoming, but it can also seem very closed off due to a strong emphasis on family ties and last names. You need to speak Spanish or you will be stuck in the gringo community. The gringo community is okay, but it can seem to be very us vs. them for new arrivals vs. old Cuenca hands. Expect to make acquaintances readily and friends more slowly.

Many of the systems that people are used to in the US don't exist here. Yes, many economic refugees want to "leave America behind" in theory, but in practice they still expect there to be functional administrative systems that respond to their needs and complaints. Not so in Cuenca - most people here fend for themselves, and the complaints department is permanently closed. Noise complaints can be directed straight to your neighbor, thank you very much, and if you don't like your cable service, join the club. This "we don't care" attitude in service areas is a sharp departure from the US where sales clerks and phone agents jump to serve "the customer who is always right". After all, if you don't like it, you'll blog, tweet, and post youtube videos about it.

Only not in Cuenca. The technology barrier is high - only about 28% of Ecuadorians regularly access the web (meaning once a week or more) and high speed connections like those in the States just haven't arrived yet. Facebook has caught on pretty strongly, but blogs and Twitter are still marginal. Websites for businesses vary in quality. If you want information, word of mouth, newspaper, and radio are the top choices. Or picking up the phone and calling directly, something many Americans consider archaic.

So there are some pretty significant adjustments, and the economics aren't all fabulous. Most Americans in Cuenca aren't making a local income - it's all dependent on what they have going for them from the States. English teaching might net $250 - $500 per month as supplemental income, and there are a few restaurants owned by gringos, but other economic opportunities are limited. People who think they will come down and work for a local are sadly misguided - there are plenty of unemployed locals for local jobs!

And that's my two cents on the matter for the moment. Yes, Cuenca can be wonderful, and if you know what you're getting into, it might work for you as a new home or economic refuge. However, it's not mini-America, nor is it Mexico, and economic refugees looking for either had better look somewhere else!

Freedom Is A State Of Mind

2011-07-04T10:36:00.000-07:00

Independence Day overseas is always an adventure, because you know its supposed to be a holiday, but nobody else is taking the day off. While my family and friends back in the States are enjoying the sunny weather and a three day weekend, Cuencanos are enjoying the fifth straight hour of pouring rain and another workday. Yee-haw!

The question does sometimes come up as to whether I worry about my freedom living overseas. The short answer is no, not really. America isn't the only place you can live free and happy ... and to me, attaching freedom to a place diminishes the concept.

Freedom isn't a concept that can be fenced by borders. It's not even really a concept that can be fenced by facts. Was I more free in America, where an organized government efficiently collected taxes, monitored citizen activities, and regulated the snot out of being a small business owner? Or am I more free in Cuenca, where a highly inefficient government doesn't provide much more than basic services and the police can be readily bribed? (In a recent lesson on crime vocabulary, I mentioned a friend paying the police $10 to get out of a ticket. My students told me he overpaid - it should have been $5. "You foreigners run up the price of everything," harrumphed one of them, implying "my people" are ruining their freedom to drive like maniacs.)

Moving from the cops back to government, was I more free in America or when I was living in China? I didn't speak the language well and had no knowledge of the local laws. I know I got tons of exceptions from locals because they knew I didn't get it and it wasn't worth it to them to make an issue out of it ... but in America, there are no exceptions for me. If I speed, fail to register my car properly, don't follow my community covenant for recycling, or a hundred other small things, I'm in trouble.

So what is my freedom, really? Were my forefathers fighting for the right to watch reality TV on high-speed Internet connections in McMansions? I like to think they were fighting for the right to live on their own terms - the right to choose their futures, govern their destinies, and take their lives where the path led. It's not a place - it's a concept, a state of mind. Rainy skies, no fireworks, and miles from home, that's what I celebrate as my Independence Day.

Now We're Mobile

2011-07-04T10:34:00.001-07:00

Hey, quick administrative note -- I've set up to optimize the viewing of the blog on your favorite mobile device. This should make it easy for iPad owners, iPhones, and other "smart" mobile devices to visit me without a mega-jumble on the screen.

Readjusting To Life In Cuenca

2011-06-08T14:03:00.000-07:00

After three weeks in the States, returning to Cuenca has been interesting. I loved, loved, loved being in America with the whole country being on the cusp of summer. Here we are on the cusp of what passes for winter, and the return from a land in bloom to a land where that's just not the season has been interesting.

Of course, the weather isn't the only difference between Cuenca and the States. One of my friends here asked me to do a comparison, so I spent a lot of my time in the States (since I had a lot of time in the car between North Carolina and Nebraska) reflecting on that. The differences jumped out from all sides, and not all of them bear repeating, but here are a few that have hit me going both ways.

The cheek kiss thing: When I got to the States, I was totally set to kiss everyone on the cheek because that is just the Ecuadorian way. It's kind of hard to shut off once you get in the habit. Now that I'm back, it's hard to turn back on. I once again feel like people are invading my space when they lean in for a kiss, but based on the weirdness that ensues when you try to shake hands with someone trying to kiss you, I'll need to get over that fast.
Punctuality: I had to get back in the groove of leaving for things on time in the States. Not so here in EC. Except for my classes, we're back in the land of approximates - around 2, sometime this evening. I kind of enjoyed the more scheduled life - I've apparently missed things that smack of routine. Cuenca's chaos is quaint, but not always conducive to getting things done.
Shopping variety: I'll be honest, I just about cried when I walked into the Trader Joe's in Lincoln, NE. It's not the biggest, it's not the best ... but it has so much variety that is flat out lacking here. You go to the supermarket and it's pretty much this or that, and having been to the supermarket three times in the last three days, it's frustrating. There may be six brands, but there aren't six kinds. In the US there is more variety of kinds of things to buy, both in the food aisles and on the shelves in retail stores. If I want to buy only modal cotton clothes in the States, I can do it. If I want to do that in EC, well, it's this shirt or that shirt, take it or leave it, plus 22% tax on imported clothes.
Height: In the US I'm average. Here I'm a giant, as being away and then back reminded me.
Pricing: You know, a lot of people go on and on about the cheapness of Cuenca, and so I was expecting more sticker shock being in the States. The biggest was the $65 taxi I took in Chicago - here taxi rides average $2, and the airport might be a $5-$10 ride in Quito for about an equal distance. Yet on the other hand there were a lot of elements in the States that were very affordable compared to Cuenca. Textiles of all kinds were very affordable in the States (no $5 for 6 pairs of Hanes socks here!) and a decent meal out at night was still $20+ per person just like it is here. Hotels in Cuenca are cheaper, and gas is cheaper because of the government subsidies. Yet in other areas of life it's not that different, and quality/selection + 12% Cuenca sales tax definitely are pricing factors to consider, too.

Anyway, I have to get back to adjusting - and unpacking! However, just wanted to share some of my thoughts as I make the (re)adjustment and settle back in to life in Cuenca.

Who's Dead?

2011-05-02T11:52:00.000-07:00

Last night we watched the news that Osama bin Laden was dead. So did the rest of the world, if the Internet speed was any indication. It was an interesting moment, watching the nation celebrate without us expats at their side. I think my patriotism must be a bit lacking, too, because watching everybody go nuts in the streets my main thought was, "Sheesh, don't these people have to work tomorrow?" What can I say? It was after midnight, I was tired, and it's been a long ride finding Mr. Needle-in-a-Haystack.

When I woke up this morning, the President was dead.

At not yet 7 am, the phone rang. The frantic caller on the other end has no Internet at home and was desperate for an Internet touch-base. "Obama has been shot and killed!"

"No, it was Osama."

"They told me it was Obama! It just happened last night, you have to look."

"No, it was Osama."

"My girlfriend said Obama is dead! It's breaking news."

"No, no, no. Not Obama. OSAMA. OSAMA is dead."

"Are you sure?"

Massive growl of frustration. Power up computer. Hit the Internet. "Yes, I'm sure. Osama is dead, not Obama."

"Oh, well, thanks," Click.

Guess who was extra early to school today? GRRRRRRRrrrrrr.... OSAMA is dead!

Waiting For A Taste Of Easter

2011-04-23T22:30:00.000-07:00

In about an hour, I'll know if I get to taste Easter this year, or if I've blown it entirely.

Everyone has their own thing that means Easter. Not in the grander meaning-of-the-holiday sense, but in the smaller, personal family sense. Easter for some is hiding eggs under bushes and for others it's big chocolate bunny-filled baskets. Here in Ecuador, Easter is associated with a very particular kind of soup that has a ridiculous number of ingredients, and back in Nebraska I kind of associate Easter with banana bread.

Laugh now, but then think about this: If Easter was a holiday you put in your mouth, what would it taste like to you?

I can't make a sunrise service in the Brule park in Ecuador. I can't pretend not to be too old to hunt eggs in my grandmother's yard - not least because Easter egg hunting is not the Ecuadorian way. I can't fight my cousins for my mom's mashed potatoes, and I won't be working my way methodically though a dessert table that rivals a bakery.

What I'm left with is banana bread. Specifically, my aunts, but since I didn't get the spike of Easter lonely till about 10:30 tonight I had to cheat and get a recipe off the Internet instead of calling her. It's from Australia and it has lots of sugar and butter in it, and I already had the bananas.

My history as a chef is not a shining beacon of excellence. I've learned the hard way about things like not mixing cinnamon with paprika, and that following the instructions is actually kind of important. Even with the best of intentions I've been known to completely screw up basic meals and side dishes, to the point where I'm a bit intimidated by my boyfriend's request for deviled eggs.

Yet I meticulously chopped my own walnuts to put in the bread, and creamed my sugar into the butter with gusto. No proper mixing bowl meant the thing got stirred up in a casserole pan, but it was indeed smooth as per the instructions. I dutifully buttered and floured my baking pan, and pre-heated the countertop convection oven. I am very proud of myself at the moment, but still fearful that something will be all wrong, like my oln friend the high altitude or something about the kind of bananas we have hear.

Still 46 minutes to go ... but the smell is right. Naturally it needs to be mixed with an undertone of baked ham and the chatter of family, but sweet banana will have to do. Let's all hope this tastes amazing ... and HAPPY EASTER to you all.

Happy Teacher's Day ... Who Are You?

2011-04-13T22:13:00.000-07:00

Today I had a nice surprise when I went to my school - it's Teacher's Day in Ecuador. I received a beautiful rose from the Abraham Lincoln school and many well-wishes and hugs from my students. My current students were somewhat obligated to acknowledge the holiday, but the past students who made a point to come give me a kiss on the cheek and a hug were especially precious.

Now if only I could remember who they all were ....

Between my own classes, substituting for other teachers, being around the school, etc, etc, I have met well over a hundred dedicated English students. Some of them are unforgettable, but others fade into namelessness when the new cycle starts (12 week class cycles). I recognize their faces as having been in my class, but I can't quite put a name on the face.

The worst is when I see the students out and about and nowhere near the school, so my brain can't sort them by their class time or level. I met a student on the bridge to Solano today coming back from her high school, and though we had a nice conversation, I still don't know if it was Jessica or Veronica. I'm pretty sure she's Jessica. I think. Definitely a Saturday morning student ...

Still, even if I don't always have a ready name to put to the face, it is nice to be able to recognize people on the streets of Cuenca who are not my fellow foreigners. This is a definite benefit of teaching - you have a recognized connection to the society, and get to feel more at home in the culture. Also, the students definitely know you, so it makes for those nice moments that you would have in a small neighborhood, stopping and chatting, even in the middle of Cuenca's bustling byways.

Happy Teacher's Day, indeed!

Missing The Cuenca Cheerleader

2011-03-31T07:37:00.000-07:00

Swapping email with a friend this week, I was called out on my lack of posts about Cuenca over the last few months. She was asking if I was busy or if I'd lost the motivation ... but part of the problem has been that I've lost the love.

The official party line of blogs that touch on Cuenca is pretty much Rah-Rah, Sis-Boom-Bah, Go Ecuador!!!!!!!!! Since Cuenca is the ranking destination for retirees world-wide according to International Living's Quality of Life index, what could possibly be wrong with the city? How could you not be in just absolute adoration of the local customs, the local people, and the weather?

Humpf. My fresh-off-the-boat wonder must have been left on the curb, next to the car alarms. I know from my time living in Asia and Europe that your affection for your expat home can vary dramatically over the course of your stay, and while I'm not in the get-me-out-of-here mode yet, I'm definitely having one of those time periods where you browse for other options.

I'm not alone in this. For every 10 people who come to Cuenca to live, 6 will be gone in 6 months and 7 will be out by the end of the first year. The only other place I've lived with a turnover rate this fast was Shanghai, and a large part of the turnover there was because corporate rotations tended to only be a year long and the language barrier was brutal. Many of the people I knew in Asia had a deep love for the vibrancy and complexity of the culture, while here in Cuenca there seems to be a deep ambivalence about Ecuador on the whole, even among those who love the city.

It's not just one thing - there's a hundred things that line up for the shot at being the final straw. Maybe it's the trouble maintaining high speed Internet that gets you. Maybe it's the layers of bureaucracy involved in attempting to finalize a residency visa, get a censo, or open a business. Maybe it's the lack of punctuality for appointments, coffees, or repairs that's grown to the point where 20 minutes late is still almost 30 minutes early. Maybe it's the emerging need of a prescription to buy an aspirin ... the petty theft ... the maniacal bus drivers ... the hot water heater ban ...

Solar-powered shower, anyone?

Whatever it is, there comes a moment in your life in Cuenca where you just wake up and don't want to deal with it anymore. You want to go on a major rant about it, but that's just not the party line here. Starry eyed love and relentless promotion is allowed; crabbing about poorly maintained sidewalks is not. So it's been a little quiet on the blog front while I work through that. Bear with me, folks - we'll look into more facets of life abroad in Ecuador ... or you'll get to hear about the next adventure soon enough.

Crime In Cuenca

2011-03-28T08:50:00.000-07:00

Looking out my window, there was my neighbor standing with no shirt on and barely in what was left of his pants. He had one lonely shoe in his hand as he gazed up at me hopefully, asking, "Let me in, will you? They took my keys, too."

Crime in Cuenca is unlike anything I've experienced while living in other countries. Crime in Japan was most likely to be some kind of blackmail or extortion. In China, most of the crime centered around smuggling goods or information. In Europe, while I did have my bag snatched at the Paris North Train station, for the most part the biggest risk was messing up the currency swaps and overpaying gleeful storekeepers. In Cuenca, they want it all.

I'm much more informed about crime in Cuenca since last year when I was robbed at knifepoint, but I'm not sure the additional awareness is a blessing. On one hand, I know that if I'm held up, I probably won't be hurt if I just give them everything they want. On the other hand, the thieves here are a bit more expansive about what they want.

In the US, while people might steal some designer shoes off your feet, for the most part they are just after your money or your cell phone. Your clothes are pretty safe. In Ecuador, I've heard numerous tales of people losing their wallets along with their hats, scarves, jackets, gloves, belts, and so on. One man actually caught his thief because the man was wearing his jacket and distinctive hand-tooled leather belt later.

I don't know what motivates that. Yes, you can make the extreme poverty case ... to a point. There's a greed and envy point to be made, too. Yet to me, coming out of a robbery half-naked is just adding insult to injury. Thoughts? What are the weirdest things you've heard of being taken in a crime in Cuenca (or anywhere else)?

Don't Mess With My Showers

2011-03-09T10:48:00.000-08:00

The government of Ecuador is attempting to interfere with my ability to have a hot shower in the morning. This will not end well.

Basically, President Correa has mandated that production and importation of gas hot water heaters be stopped. This is how the majority of the homes in the country get their hot water. He hasn't proposed a replacement system, he's just said that the subsidized gas that the government provides is only supposed to be used for cooking, and that the hot water heaters are a health hazard anyway.

Sample Gas Heaters

Thanks, olx quito

I'll grant him a bit of that second point. Poorly installed gas hot water heaters - especially those foolishly installed inside homes - emit copious amounts of carbon monoxide. The heaters need to be properly ventilated, and ideally should be outside on a terrace, balcony, or outside wall. They can kill you when you do things like install them in your bedroom closet (no, really. That happened.)

However, we're not merely addressing the issue of poor technical skills that plagues the nation. We're talking about the President of the country essentially declaring that hot water is an optional luxury for most of the population. Solar water heaters exist, but the units run over $1,000 before installation with no backup systems, and electric water heaters imported from the states are just as pricey. The average monthly wage in the country is $300. A gas water heater is about $250, and powering it for an hour a day's worth of hot water is about $2.

I've ranted before about the dangers and misery of electric showerheads, so I've no interest in going back to that system. I'm glad my house has a gas hot water system already installed, and that the building runs on a centralized gas system with no way to separate my gas for cooking from my gas for showering. I'm probably going to be okay, unless "they" come to my house and try to rip my water heater off my wall. They should be prepared for some serious protesting.

And I won't be the only one protesting ... although not all of the protesters are motivated in the same way. One of the things thought to be behind the ban is the rising price to the government of continuing to subsidize propane and natural gas prices. The wholesale price for a home canister is about $1.60, with home delivered gas canisters at $2. The going market price should be around $8 per canister (works out to $0.32 kg/gas). Many locals would be hard pressed to afford a price jump of that size.

I know it seems like pocket change, but pocket change is serious money here. The government is a little bit stuck on this one. The "Land of the Cold Shower" is not exactly a reputation their tourist industry can afford to be stuck with, but the bill for the subsidies is not exactly one the government can afford to be stuck with over time. So we'll see how this goes ... you'll know if the hot water goes away, because I'll be sending through a new address!

Tax Exhaustion

2011-03-08T15:26:00.000-08:00

All around me in Cuenca, the city is quieting down as the residents start to embrace Carnaval exhaustion. I should have joined them a bit more, but I thought that with the city all shut down and water balloon lobbing terrorists on the rooftops (it's tradition) that now would be a good time to do my taxes.

My brains are kind of mush.

Last year, I wrote about tax tips for writers, and I really did try to take my own advice. There were only a few receipts this year that were a mystery. I even found some receipts it would have been great to have last year, with no idea how they managed to not only get overlooked last April but also stow away to Ecuador with me this year. Little buggers are crafty.

The bigger challenge on this go-round was the international forms. I had no idea Turbo Tax had so many screens. Last time I filed my taxes as an international resident, I just remember one little form online. It was a magic form - I filled it out and *poof* I didn't owe any more taxes.

Things have definitely gotten a bit more complex since the early & mid 2000's on the international tax front. Turbo Tax hooped me through all the physical presence test requirements before somehow on the second run shifting me to the much shorter bona fide foreign residency test screen. Guess which one makes you look up every day you were anywhere and which asks yes or no questions?

Still, I feel pretty good about the final forms. I *think* I understand where all the numbers came from - I'm a little geeky and read over all the forms before I let Turbo Tax do its thing. I think I'm all good. I hit send anyway, so there's no going back now!

I'm using my brain numbed state to prep for next years taxes. We have master spreadsheets and file folders. It's like I'm related to certified accountants or something the way I suddenly feel better if I have month-by-month receipt folders and labels. Creepy. Very creepy.

Yet I'm done - after only 2 days - and I'm done early. Here's wishing the rest of you the best of luck with your own taxes ... and I think I might go have a drink.

Charlie Sheen & My Grandfather

2011-03-03T11:39:00.000-08:00

One of the funny things that happens to you when you live abroad is that the most random things start to remind you of your family. Take, for example, Charlie Sheen. Currently the poor man is going through a very interesting phase of his life/career. He's always been outlandish with his vices and proclivities, but this is taking things to a new level.

And it reminds me of my grandfather.

Not, of course, that my grandfather behaves in any way, shape, or form like Charlie Sheen. It's just that once I went to visit my grandfather in North Platte and he was watching Two and a Half Men, which is the show that Charlie Sheen has just caused to be canceled by going somewhat insane. So when I see Charlie Sheen right now, I think of Two and a Half Men, which makes me think of that visit, which makes me miss my grandfather.

It's logical, really. Or at least makes a bit of sense. But I will confess that I told my friend that Charlie Sheen reminded me of my grandfather and she said, shocked, "I had no idea your grandfather was that crazy!" Which of course required a lengthy explanation to ensure she understood all the ways in which Grandpa is the polar opposite of the current version of Charlie Sheen. And then I felt odd for having brought it up ... and I still missed my grandfather.

It's all your fault, Charlie Sheen.

And just for laughs at Mr. Sheen's expense since he has me all mopey, there are these bits of web comedy genius to explore as a reminder of why you really shouldn't do live interviews if you're also doing a lot of drugs.

Charlie Sheen & the Family Circus: http://sheenfamilycircus.blogspot.com/
Charlie Sheen living his dream, with rotating Charlie Sheen quotes: http://livingthesheendream.com/

Another Noisy Day In Cuenca

2011-02-23T20:58:00.001-08:00

Of all the cities I have lived in over the years - including Shanghai - Cuenca is by far the loudest. It seems like there is always something in this city going on to assault your eardrums.

I don't know how to describe it in a way that you can imagine, but here's a start. Imagine a world in which almost everyone who owns a car has a car alarm for it. Imagine that alarm is a multi-part siren capable of running a 60 second loop. Imagine that the sound of this alarm is not unlike a rhythmic air raid siren, and that for a 100 yard radius it will feel like you are standing next to the Keith County Courthouse when they are testing the tornado sirens.

Imagine that in this world, NO ONE KNOWS HOW TO TURN OFF THEIR OWN ALARM.

That's right people - whoever sold the population of Cuenca their car alarms neglected to instruct them in basic courtesy features, like the ability to turn off the alarm on the car while you are sitting in it. Or how to lock the car without setting off the alarm. That the children of Cuenca have not been permanently deafened by the echoing wails of their parents' alarm systems going off every time a door is opened while the engine is running is beyond me.

Today a guy parked across the street from my apartment block, and went into the restaurant there to pick something up. He left the alarm going full blast and the door hanging open. Two floors of us leaned out the window to yell at him, it's gotten that frustrating. I think we shook him up a little.

Horns honking, mufflers rattling windows, people playing their music too loud ... I can be on the phone in my bedroom and my parents will ask where I'm at that it's so loud. I know it's partly the season - Carneval is coming, all the schools are on break - but seriously, my nerves are fraying. I had a dream last night that a massive earthquake reduced the city to rumble, and I remember being happy because it was quiet at last.

A car alarm woke me up.

Dear January, Where Did You Go?

2011-02-08T16:10:00.000-08:00

Does anyone else feel like this year has just zoomed in? One minute I'm elbows deep in final papers, exams, and work projects and the next minute I'm watching the Superbowl. Sans commercials, naturally. Ecuador's like that.

January is just gone. I know people talk about time passing more quickly as you get older, but this is ridiculous. I'm not that old! I still have things I need to do!

Still, it's not like I've been exactly wasting the time that I have here. In January I wrote more than an article a day and a book-length manual. And had company for 10 days, visiting Quito, Vilcabamba (miserable experience), and Otavalo. I had time to catch up with the people I enjoy, and the sun did a fair bit of shining.

So that's all well and good. What's not well and good is how tired I feel. I know there's a saying that really busy people wait until their lulls to get sick, so maybe I'm using these past few days to just acknowledge that I have a sleep debt that rivals the national deficit? We'll find out ... day three of 10 hours of sleep a night coming up!

Helicopters Over The Homefront

2011-01-07T09:46:00.000-08:00

My taxi couldn't get me all the way home today, thanks to the police.

Pulling up to my intersection, the taxi driver helpfully pointed out the helicopter circling low overhead, cameras focused. Cop cars filled the streets, and uniformed patrolmen were milling about filling out forms, doing interviews, and up the block, loading something into a truck.

I paid my fare somewhat nervously and hustled it up the block, where I could see the entire staff of the copy shop that's on the first floor of my building huddled on the corner. Those girls are sharp about watching what's up, so after some hey, how are you's we cut right to the chase: Why is there a helicopter and half the Cuenca police force here?

They didn't know. We stood collectively for a minute weighing our options, and then a pair ran across the street toward the action in a swift move of bravery. Not about to get shown up by chicas half my weight, I followed.

More cops, lots of rubberneckers. This something a little different about Ecuador. In the States, we have rubberneckers, but we're a little more subtle about it. Little old ladies flick back their curtains or motorists drop it down about 5 mph. In Ecuador, people stop what they're doing and walk right up to the action. Motorists park and get out for a better view. There is no shame in staring, pointing, or openly gossiping about what's happening at a volume audible for 50 feet in every direction.

The cook from the restaurant across the street eventually gave me the scoop. Apparently all the action had to do with car part. Banned car parts, probably (I was missing a word in there) and lots of car parts for which this particular shop owner ***gasp*** had no receipts.

Y'all, I didn't even know there was an auto shop in this particular building, and I walk by there an average of four times a day. The catch is that what faces the street is just a wall with a big door and not really much of a sign. I've never really seen much for in and out on any of the shops on that block, even, so I thought the interior was empty.

Or pack floor to ceiling with hot car parts. You know, whatever fits in a building that looks like it was rescued from Spain circa 1750. Apparently the locals knew there was some kind of car place in there, but not that there were ***gasp*** no receipts!!!! for any of those parts.

The receipts are a big deal here, because the local SRI (our IRS) doesn't mess around. They will shut your business down until you are straight with them, and they'd sent their SWAT team folks down with the cops. It was kind of fun to watch them do their thing, actually, because they seemed a lot more active than any IRS folks I've ever seen (okay, imagined. I've never seen one and don't want to).

I went back in the house when the second wave came in along with the press because it was lunchtime. It was also much more comfortable for me to watch the whole thing from my windows. I may be getting more Ecuadorian every day, but I'm still not a dyed-in-the-wool rubbernecker. Maybe next year ....

Pants From The Past

2011-01-05T11:32:00.000-08:00

One of the fun things about moving abroad is coming back to visit your closet in America. Suitcase weight limits keep going down (when I went to Japan, it was 75 lbs, and now you get 50 lbs with some places pushing for 30) so you have to be really careful about what you're packing. Since I tend to do things like pack George Foreman grills into my luggage (no, really, I did that) it means I'm often short on clothes.

The bonus of staying in Ecuador is that this time when I went home, I just brought a few things to wear with the rest of my suitcase for bringing things back. Really important things. Really, really important things, like the 4 lbs of pretzel M&M's I got for Christmas, copious amounts of orange scented Arbonne goods, and pants.

Ah, pants.

The particular pair of pants inspiring this post entered my life circa 2007. This means they are Ann Taylor pants, since 95% of my wardrobe in those days came from Ann Taylor. Something about working in HR for a risk management department may have been prompting that. They are dress pants, and I thought they might be good for the need-to-look-older while teaching thing. Also as a break from the three other pairs of pants I have in EC, which are all jeans.

The issue was that I was a bit sickish over the holidays, and I didn't do a lot of the closet review and room cleaning that I had originally planned. Instead, I just admired my closet for most of the break, and then threw a few things in at the last minute without trying them on.

This morning, I needed the pants, and I was just hoping against hope that they fit.

And they did. It was awesome! I practically skipped to class, and refused to put off by the lack of taxis on my way or the ennui of my students when faced with the history of the World Bank Group. It'll be on the test, kids, and did you know my pants fit? Bwahahahahaha . . . ahem.

Old pants that fit, people, is my happiness for today. What's yours?

Limping Into 2011

2011-01-04T13:58:00.000-08:00

I'm back in Ecuador at last, and it definitely feels good to be back in t-shirt land! What I'm not getting used to just yet is the fact that the calendar has turned over.

Was it just me, or was 2010 a total whirlwind? It seemed like a lot of different changes all came through at once, and I just wasn't quite keeping up. True, some of these choices, like taking on the teaching at the University of Azuay and that whole moving to Ecuador thing, were entirely my own decision. And maybe I should have skipped out on some more of the weddings and family things that I did, but really, that wouldn't have been right, either.

So what does 2011 hold? I feel a bit like I'm limping into the new year after an intense Christmas trip home that included a heavy dose of the holiday crud. What a bummer that turned out to be! Made this big trip home for the holidays and then was congested, aching, and miserable the first few days. I blame Miami - that many people going through customs at one time just spells major germ spread.

Still, I've recovered a bit, which means I'm supposed to be jumping into 2011. The trouble is that I'm kind of denying it's arrived. Maybe if I pretend it's still December . . . no, actually, that doesn't work either. It's just that the idea of a laundry list of resolutions when I still have things on my to-do list feels wrong on lots of levels.

As a result, I'm resolving not to resolve. I don't want a temporary burst of things to do . . . if I'm going to be changing my life, let's go big or go home and really commit to something. So now I'm just waiting for that perfect inspiration to strike . . . .

The Digital Story of Christmas

2010-12-22T17:22:00.000-08:00

A very well done video of the Nativity 2.0. Traveling myself for the holidays, my sister's video link sharing really made me smile.

Merry Christmas!

A Christmas Merger

2010-12-21T14:55:00.001-08:00

Continuing the current trend of large-scale mergers and acquisitions, it was announced today
at a press conference that Christmas and Hanukkah will merge. An industry source said that the deal had been in the works for about 1300 years.

While details were not available at press time, it is believed that the overhead cost of having twelve days of Christmas and eight days of Hanukkah was becoming prohibitive for both sides.

By combining forces, we're told the world will be able to enjoy consistently high-quality service during the Fifteen Days of Chrismukkah.

As part of the merger agreement, the letters on the dreydl, currently in Hebrew, will be replaced by Latin, thus becoming unintelligible to a wider audience.

In exchange for this concession, it is believed that Santa's vast merchandising and distribution network will be opened up for all Chrismukkah participants.

Despite strong speculation, a spokesman for Christmas, Inc., declined to say whether a takeover of Kwanzaa might also be in the works at this time.

He then closed the press conference by leading all present in a rousing rendition of "Oy Vey, All Ye Faithful."

Notes On A Hospital Visit In Cuenca

2010-12-16T12:30:00.000-08:00

Today I went to the hospital. For fun. Yes, that actually happens.

The deal is that Cuenca's newest hospital, Hospital Universitario del Rio, generally just called Hospital del Rio, was having an open house and luncheon. It's a teaching hospital affiliated with the school where I've been teaching during the week, the University of Azuay, and it's administered by an international hospital group, American Hospital Management.

The hospital is about 18 months old, and a friend of ours who runs the Ecuador Medical Tourism Association invited us to go. All new everything and supposed to be the best in Cuenca, so I thought, why not?

It is a bit odd to be at the hospital when you don't need anything. I'm used to the dreaded scheduling, waiting, waiting, waiting process when it comes to visiting hospitals, or the quick run when you're really sick. Instead, we strolled in, sat through a little presentation, and had a very leisurely tour of the facilities.

Hospital del Rio is certainly state of the art. A group of private investors put the thing together, spending more than $42 million on the project. All brand new equipment made by GE with the goal of becoming THE best hospital in Ecuador, and this half of South America. They've got scanners and machines I'd never heard of, but they looked like stuff that would do the trick, right down to the giraffe incubators in the best NICU in the country.

The catch is that you get it all with Ecuador's brand of hospital service - nurses that don't do much and doctors who do it all. You don't have to wait in lines at private hospitals like this, you can spend 2 hours talking to one doctor, and for the private suite rooms the ratio was one nursing station per 8 rooms. Same day lab results are standard, and private specialists clinics are built into the structure.

And then there are the prices . . . this isn't a complete list, just some stuff I wrote down during the presentation and the tour. As you read these and think about your personal medical care situation, remember that flights are $580 roundtrip out of Denver through March 15th (usually $800 - $900), it's a $100 roundtrip transfer to Cuenca in country from Quito or Guayaquil, and today I am wearing a t-shirt and flip-flops. In December, in case I wasn't rubbing in the no snow situation enough.

Ahem, where was I? Right - listing the prices for state of the art medical care in Cuenca at the Hospital del Rio. Some 80% of the doctors speak English, and private translators that are available 24/7 during your stay in Cuenca can be had for around $10 per hour.

Appointment with a specialist: $25 - $30, depending on the specialty (they offer cardiology, oncology, dermatology, geriatrics, hematology, pediatrics, psychiatry, orthopedics, and urology on site, among others). Doctors trained in the US, Chile, Columbia, Germany, etc. The ones we met on the tour seemed very nice, as did the techs we interrupted.
Surgery room charge for operations: $3 per minute
Day rate for the hospital room: $100 for a private suite (includes sofa bed for guests and a private family lounge) off the bedroom, $70 for what US folks would call a standard private room, and they also have shared 2 and 4 bed rooms if you're "impoverished" and need cheaper options.
MRI: $200 - $250, depending on the part of the body you're having done. Same day results. Pretty sure a friend paid $850 for a knee view in the States, so this one impressed me the most.
Sonogram: $25, and they are available in 3-D and 4-D. I didn't even know they made 4-D for these things.
Endoscopy: $150, and they do rectal for colonoscopies as well as the ones that go down the throat. One of the retired people on the tour with us had paid $5,000 for a major endoscopy in the states, and another had paid $1200.

I can't remember the price for a CT scan - I was distracted by the tech who had a scan of somebody's heart up on their screen, working with the image. Apparently the machine makes 64 cuts (views) that are all integrated, and the Hospital del Rio is using it in heart imaging so they can avoid unnecessary catheterizations. It looked pretty darn cool.

The Hospital del Rio also has an Intensive Care Unit. The bed is $120 a day, and the cost of all the other nursing and support can run as high as $1,000 per day depending on what you're hooked to at the time (and the guide, who is the director, is quick to point out here "You get a lot for that price. It's expensive, but you get ventilation, dialysis, heart monitors, all your nursing, you know, those things. So even though it's a high, it's good.") And so I went to the web to look up some US comparables, and found a study from 2005 on average ICU costs in America that gave the average cost figures as $2,192 per day, and some ICU numbers from 1996 that gave the average as $2,000 - $3,000 per day.

The hospital was quick to emphasize their cleanliness, too. Since they're new, they have advantages in that they don't have decades of built up in-house strains of staph like some places in the States and around the world. They also sterilize all the rooms between guests, and contagious/contaminated rooms have a 24 hour quarantine. UV light checks are used to ensure cleanliness, and the rooms have views of the mountains and the river from which the hospital gets its name.

So . . . kind of a long post about a hospital tour, but it ended up being interesting to me so I thought I'd share. Readers, what were your last hospital experiences like, and what did you have to pay for your stuff?

What Volcano?

2010-12-08T12:44:00.000-08:00

Lately I've gotten a bunch of pings about the volcano that's erupting. Truthfully, it hadn't even crossed my radar - which should let you know that no, I'm not affected and really, neither is Cuenca. If it was a big deal, I'd have heard.

On the other hand, what's the deal with Ecuador and volcanoes anyway? Here's the insider's scoop:

Ecuador is a mountainous country (thanks to the Andes) and we've still got active volcanoes doing their thing. They are clustered around the capital, Quito (10 - 12 hours overland from me), but there are a few eruptions further south. The locals don't always like it - ash clouds are bad for the tourist business.

The volcano erupting now is Tungurahua, whose name means "Throat of Fire" in Quichua, the indigenous language of Ecuador. It's 150 miles north of Cuenca, so we haven't noticed a thing about it. It's actually the third time this year that Tungurahua has erupted . . . so I guess people are kind of used to it? Do you get used to that kind of thing?

It's not really much of a lava spewer, but it does a lot of fancy things with ash. In 1999, when the volcano "woke up" after being asleep for decades, it did more. Now it just looks like this:

It will really only affect Cuenca if the ash cloud gets blown toward us, which might cause some flight path changes and probably make the satellite Internet system struggle. Other than that. . . not much. Enjoy the photos and don't worry, I'm fine!

4 Ways Grading Makes Me Feel Evil

2010-12-07T20:12:00.000-08:00

This Friday, I will administer my first full scale exam to the students at my university class. We've covered five sections of International Relations, including measuring national power, human rights issues around the world, and the merits of global security.

When the exam is done, I will see just how much of the debate between communitarianism and individualism sunk in, or whether or not anyone truly read the section on weaknesses in the UN Peacekeeping Force. (Darling readers, can YOU tell me three things that are wrong with international security protocols as exemplified by UN Peacekeepers?)

And as I grade, I will start to feel like the Wicked Witch of the West(ern Hemisphere).

Grading exams makes you doubt the intelligence of humanity. This has been true of every class I've ever taught. Like the kid in my Saturday class who would have passed had he not skipped three test sections, exams are full of little errors that will make the teacher crabby.
Crabby teachers should not grade essay questions. My inner grammar girl jumps to the forefront, channeling my 4th grade teacher with her box where we could turn in our fellow student's grammar errors for more points. It's like my eyes open to see every last comma error and bit of awkward phrasing, to the point that I find it hard to focus on the actual test response. This makes it take a long time, and I get more crabby, and the essay pages start to drip with red ink and comments.
Someone will ask me for a bit of extra "help". I will shoot them down. This will make me feel mean, even though it's only being fair to everyone not to give extra help, answers, or points to one student.
I will hand out an F. At least one. Some will not care because they knew it was coming. Some will cry. Some will be in big trouble at home. In Ecuador, some will take the class again (and they charge you extra tuition your second time through, a nice incentive to study). Someone's life will be thrown off course, made more stressful, or flat out ruined because of my big, red F. I will feel bad about this.

Still, despite all the reasons that grading makes me feel evil, it's still what I will be doing with at least part of my Saturday. Nebraska doesn't play anymore football until the end of the month, so there will be no afternoon game to save me . . . or my students . . . from quality time with the red pen.

Preparing For Christmas In Ecuador

2010-12-03T08:58:00.000-08:00

As I'm typing this at Cafecito, the wait staff are putting up the Christmas decorations. Support pillars are already wrapped in tinsel, and the man cursing out the tangled strings of lights makes me feel right at home.

The Christmas star in the mango tree? Not so much.

This holiday season is creeping up on me in the oddest way. I spent my Thanksgiving with my sister at the spa at Piedra de Agua, doing full body mud masks and picking up a sunburn by the thermal pool. It's currently about 76 degrees, and I'm regretting wearing a long sleeve shirt to teach today. Even though I know Christmas is coming, it's hard to wrap my mind around it.

Still, I will be having Christmas in the traditional style, despite having missed Black Friday, Cyber Monday, and all the snow and crowds that went with both. I've got a ticket back to Nebraska for Christmas in the snow. I can't seem to wrap my mind around that level of cold, either, so I'm just focusing on how nice it will be to be home for the holidays!

Utility Bills In Ecuador

2010-11-22T14:22:00.000-08:00

Now that I've officially been in the apartment for over a month, it's time for the utility bills to start showing up.

I realized when they did that I'm getting a little local in my ways. Here's the low down:

Gas Bill $2

Water Bill: $6.26

Electric Bill: $47.36

Gas, fine. The stove, dryer, and water heater run on gas.

Water, fine. You know how I feel about hot showers in Cuenca. This is not negotiable.

Electric . . . whoa, whoa, whoa. . . . what is making the electric bill so stinking high? That's ridiculous! I fussed about that for ages. $48 bucks for electricity? For just one month? It's not like I even have heat to be running! That's highway robbery, that's what that is. Huff, huff, whine, whine, whine.

Then I remembered what I used to pay in the states for a month of electricity in November.

Then I just shut up and paid. Although I am turning off the lights relentlessly now and giving my refrigerator nasty looks.

It's little things like the bills that remind me that I'm starting to localize in my approach to prices and expenses more and more each day that I'm here. For example, a $3 cab fare is now pretty steep, and $25 for a nice dinner is eating pretty high on the hog. I spent $8.46 at the office supply store and felt like I got ripped off . . . buying a ream of printer paper, a binder, four sheets of art paper, and an envelope.

And yet I find $64 for unlimited high speed wireless completely reasonable . . . readers, what's the breakdown for you?

Sweeney Todd In Spanish Kind Of Sucks

2010-11-14T12:56:00.000-08:00

Many, many moons ago when I was studying in Spain, I had the opportunity to go see the musical "Rent" in Madrid. This proved to be a traumatic experience on a number of levels, which ended with me riding around the subway for a couple of hours until my brain could calm down through the use of the soothing mantra of "Proxima Parada. . . " It was Spanish being used the right way, and not Spanish being horribly manipulated into a phrasal line that only had room for a fixed number of English syllables.

So you'd think I would have learned my lesson about musicals in translation waaaaaaaayyyyyy back in the day. But I still like red wine mixed with flat Coca-cola, too, so apparently some things just don't stick.

Which brings us to Sweeney Todd.

I like Sweeney Todd. For those not familiar with the show, the basic point is there's a man who's been wronged and returns to London as a barber with a plan to set things right. Only he goes a little crazy, and starts killing his clients. He happens to live above a meat pie shop . . . and well, it's really good anyway.

These are my favorite Sweeney Todd songs, as interpreted by the cast of the movie - Johnny Depp, Helena Bonham Carter, and yeah, the barber is the man occasionally known as Borat.

Pirelli's Miracle Elixer:

The Shaving Contest:

A Little Priest:

Notice how each of these rely on rhyme and rhythm in English. Just for future reference.

So, KW and I were going to have a girl's night out. We discussed movies, but there wasn't anything worth turning up at the theater for and then we heard that Sweeney Todd was going to be on - for free - at the big Banco Central theater. Spanish tenors, full cast, etc.

And I foolishly thought it would be in English. So we went, waited in line, and got seats in the back of the house. As the lights came up and the orchestra began, I could tell I was excited.

Silly, silly me.

The barbaro brutal de Fleet Street, Sweeney Todd, is not that good in Spanish if what you really like is the way the songs go . . . in English. Still, they tried to put on a good show and it was very well attended. The line of people outside at intermission waiting to get in eased the conscience of cutting out after the first act, but it just wasn't right in the other language.

At least I can have the videos as comfort . . . !

Buying Medicine In Cuenca Ecuador

2010-11-11T12:17:00.000-08:00

Medicine is one of those things that you never really consider until you actually need to get some. I've referenced picking up headache medicine before, but never really delved into the on-the-ground medical scene here for the basics. Here's how it goes:

1. I sit at home, feeling cruddy for one reason or another. Eventually, I work up the guts to head to a pharmacy.

2. On the way, I try and remember anything - anything at all - about words in Spanish that I know about the disease or ailment I have. Yeah, I could look stuff up at home, but I only tend to think of that when I'm at the store.

3. At the pharmacy, I stare at the display cases. In smaller shops, these are usually arranged as two front glass display cases with the pharmacist manning the cash register on top. Unknown rows stretch behind the counter, full of stuff I don't know about. In larger shops, it's more like the states, where there are aisles for me to roam, hoping that what I need will jump out at me before I have to figure out how to ask for it.

4. I start being shadowed/watched like a hawk by the pharmacist. They're terrified I'm going to ask them something. Gringa face = English questions = maybe she'll find what she wants and leave.

5. We start talking. One of us will bite the bullet. They'll either ask me what I need or I'll ask if they have something. There will be an instant wave of relief when Spanish comes out of my mouth on their part.

6. Confusion sets in. I am asking for something that is not a painkiller. Note to the class: Whatever the word is for antihistamine, it is not antihistamine said with Spanish vowels. Nice try, no dice. On the other hand, allergies are alergias. Bwahahahaha, I win!

7. Pantomine and/or extraneous hand gestures are used by both sides. Welcome back to the first grade.

8. A recommendation is made. I have no idea what I'm about to take, but I'm confident that we are on the same page in terms of what it is supposed to do.

9. Prices are discussed. Generic = generico, which I actually know. There is not a generico for what I want. Prices are quotes by the box (caja) and by the pill. I don't know the word for pill, but cada uno is each one, so whatever. I will take four to try.

10. The pharmacist goes to the mystery rows of goodies, opens the box of pills, whips out a scissors, and cuts me off four pills. Money changes hands, and I leave.

A little ridiculous? Well, most of that is me. Some of the pharmacies here are really also clinics, and the people manning the counter are actual doctors. Thus, the concept of a drop in clinic is not really prevalent around here, since you can just walk into pharmacies. Also, medicines have very different prices here than in the states. My allergy stuff was expensive at $1.50 a pill, but wow, did it work fast and last all day, too. Nexium you can over the counter, and a generic pack of 20 is like $6. If you have the technical name of something, or the active ingredient (see also: people actually planning ahead) you can match meds even if the names are different. I've heard glaucoma drops are very cheap here, and if you all need anything checked on, I'm more than willing to ask. My local pharmacist already thinks I'm an idiot ;-)

I'm The Teacher, Dammit

2010-11-10T11:44:00.000-08:00

Yesterday leaving class, I hopped in a cab. It was 11 am, and a beautiful day was ahead of me. Of work. Whatever, it was nice out and I was looking forward to a ride home with the windows down.

Little did I know the third degree that was about to result. I mean, I'm used to chatting with the local taxistas, but sheesh was I ever getting a cross examination! Where was I going? Why? Weren't there more classes in the afternoon? How many hours of class had I already done?

Eventually, he asked what I studied. I said, "I'm the International Relations teacher."

OOOOOOOHHHHHHHH. Well, didn't that change things. Apparently, my taxi driver is the unofficial director of his own one man truancy squad, and had thought I was a lazy student skipping out on my afternoon classes. He was totally apologetic about grilling me.

In some ways, I get where he's coming from. Skipping is a problem, and the university actually has attendance policies that fail you if you miss too much class. The kicker was when he said I looked too young to be a teacher.

My students said this to me today too, when one of them asked how old I was. They don't believe I'm 30 on my way to 31.

On one hand, completely fine and awesome. I blend in on campus walking around, and who wants to look like an old lady? On the other hand, well, I AM A TEACHER HERE. I'm not a student, and sometimes I need to be teacher-y about things and its frustrating when administrators and others think you're just another enrollee. I got the hairy eye in the teacher's lounge the other day until I started grading some stuff, and when I hand out grades I want to be viewed as an authority and not the "big sister" or a peer.

So . . . in a completely odd train of thought . . . I'm trying to think about how to come across as older. It's like my freshman year of college all over again, and it feels a little weird. We'll just see how it goes . . .

Halloween & Other Happenings

2010-11-09T09:11:00.000-08:00

By insistent and repeated demand, I have Halloween wear:

Maid Marian & The Friar: Note The Authentic Footwear

So . . . that happened. Halloween was actually a fairly early night. Something about semi-frozen tangerine jello shots and forgetting to schedule dinner into the festivities, if I recall correctly. Not to worry - the fun was hardly over. Waking up the next day, it was the beginning of Cuenca Days.

Cuenca Days is not the official name of the holiday, but it's what it feels like. The whole town is pretty much off work for 4 or 5 days depending on your job, and every night there is a major fireworks show. One night I saw five shows as each barrio (neighborhood) expressed its civic pride and one-up-manship for the year. It was like the 4th of July, Groundhog Day edition.

I attempted to take a little time off work and check things out. They had some massive Arts-In-The-Park kind of stuff, but I ended up being fairly *yawn* about it all. I was expecting . . . more/different? Not the same kinds of things in every booth. I did the street and the park shows, as well as a seriously underwhelming taste event at La Esquina de Las Artes, but I didn't come home with anything other than sore feet.

Sadly, class resumed. For the newbies, I am teaching Saturday mornings as well as four days during the week. It's not like its a heavy load, I'm just a bit out of practice with teaching! The class during the week is International Relations, and I have to study as much as they do to keep up. I laughed at myself Thursday night, finishing up my stuff for Friday's class - definitely university days all over again.

This week, now that the holidays are over, work is crazy! I have a ton of projects to finish up - far more than there are hours in a day for working. Not so good. It's nice to be wanted by the clients, but I'm struggling to keep up now that I have to play educated profesora part-time. Getting through this week should be interesting, and I'll be glad to update when it's over and I can breathe again!

Renting A Halloween Costume In Ecuador

2010-10-28T18:18:00.000-07:00

I giggled all the way home.

This Saturday there is a costume party at Inca Lounge, and you don't have to pay a cover if you have a costume. Admittedly, the cover is only $5, so it's not like there a high barrier to cross there, but it's Halloween and hey, who really needs that big of an excuse?

So where do you get a costume in an adult size in a totally Catholic country for Halloween?

MASKERADE, the costume rental shop.

Only I didn't know that it was a rental place when I went in. I was planning to buy something (cheap) and wear that. Except once we (BWH & I) got inside the shop and I got to reading the signs, I realized that we could rent this stuff.

How much? Sheesh, what are these details you speak of?

We took a number, 80. They were currently on 42. The place was packed! It's set up as a long counter, with all of the costumes behind the counter in big rows. You look through a book and pick out a costume and then tell them about it so they can go get your Spiderman suit or whatever. Then you take it and go try it on and go from there.

The place was teeming with kids in various kinds of costumes and some office workers doing the adult costume thing. Adult costume things here are different - they tend to be religious themed, or historical. Like monks and nuns and Robin Hood. So Ben has a Franciscan monk costume, and I have some sort of tacky medieval Maid Marian suit. I'm pretty sure the gold streamers are supposed to go in my hair and they offered me a crown, but its a long sleeved thing that goes to the floor and what do I really want with a crown?

Anyway, for the grand total of $16.60 plus a $10 deposit, we got our costumes, due back Sunday. It took about 2 hours, and in the big picture, if you had told me 6 months ago that I would be able to walk into a costume shop and fearlessly rent a costume in another language, I would have laughed you out of town. Now, well, Maid Marian will be making her appearance on Saturday night!

If You Love Your Apartment, Don't Clean It

2010-10-18T12:24:00.000-07:00

Well my friends, the big day arrived at last and this weekend I moved into my new apartment. I also watched the Texas-Nebraska game, but we're not speaking of that.

Was the wait worth it? On most counts, yes, yes, yes. I am so excited for this place. I have a fabulous view out the kitchen and brand new bathrooms. Despite all the construction mess there was when I first saw it, my apartment in Cuenca has turned out beautifully. Check out these before and after pictures:

The Bathroom:

The Bedroom:

The Kitchen:

On the other hand, despite the construction guys promising to clean, there is dust everywhere. And random spots. The guys did a construction clean, not a my-mother-in-law-is-coming-over level clean. Being opposed to fine layers of white dust on everything I own, I swore to thoroughly clean the whole place as I moved it.

I've finished the bathroom in the master bedroom and one of the closets. Umm . . . .

It all started when I had to go to the bathroom. I was peacefully sweeping in the living room, and I had the urge. I went to the bathroom and flipped the lid up to discover spots on the seat, along with one dusty fingerprint. Not cool. Fortunately, with just a few quick squirts of bathroom cleaner that could be all covered.

The next thing I knew, I was bent over the toilet scrubbing a spot off the back of the S-bend on the base. I don't know what came over me in there, but I wiped down the walls, did the floor inch by inch by hand, scrubbed out the hinges on the doors, and polished that faucet like five times. Something clearly snapped.

And something else snapped . . . because I found about 16 things wrong in there. Tiny, tiny things that you would really only notice if, say, you were on your knees scrubbing out the corners with the tip of your finger. Since I am a product of my raising, I have a list of places to hit with a grouter, wood pen, and WD-40. Just for the bathroom.

Had I not gone all Mr. Clean in there, I would have never seen those things. Lesson learned. If you love your apartment at first, don't clean it anytime soon!

Baby Snatching? Seriously?

2010-10-15T06:11:00.000-07:00

So I'm out to dinner last night, talking with the lovely JO and updating her about the University professorship situation. I'd gone in to the class on Wednesday to observe, to start preparing to teach October 25th. This is when the current professor is officially scheduled to start her maternity leave.

Anyway, after the class the professor and I are talking. We arrange to drive into town to have lunch, and she has to pull a giant kiddie pool out of the front seat of her pick-up truck so that I can sit. Not being entirely sure why an 8 & 9/10th's months pregnant lady is messing around with a kiddie pool, I ask her about it. Apparently it's for the delivery . . . she has a mid-wife and is doing the whole thing at home in the water birth style.

Now I know home birth is becoming more popular, even in the states, but this throws me for a loop. I was telling JO about it, because why not? It's interesting and different.

She comes back with an even more interesting and different take. Apparently, having babies at home is common in Ecuador because THEN NO ONE STEALS THE BABY AT THE HOSPITAL.

Yeah, exactly. Hospital baby snatchings are common? She shrugs, which can mean anything from "oh yes, totally" to "honestly, it is so easy to pull your leg." I ask her why, and she says that some people who can't have babies buy babies, and thus there is a market for babies, and people just want to serve that market.

For a minute I have a flashback to China, where I knew of a woman who went to the south of the country, headed out to the sticks, and picked up a lovely baby girl for $250. She was frustrated, as a single woman, with the hurdles in the adoption process. The twist? PEOPLE TOLD HER SHE OVERPAID.

I didn't have it in me to ask what a baby would run here. The last thing I need is to discover how affordable it is to buy a baby down here and then turn up back home with a matched set of big-eyed insta-grandkids. I can hear myself now:

"Mom, Dad, I was only going to get one but then I found out they were on SALE."

Visiting My Someday Home

2010-10-12T16:09:00.000-07:00

Today I went to visit my apartment again. I say visit, because I don't get to live there yet. It's been mine since mid-August, but it's not finished.

Ah, the joys of renting pre-construction. . . no, no joy actually.

Lemme 'splain. No, is too much. Let me sum up.

I HATE WAIT.

Ahem. So I found my lovely, lovely, lovely apartment with the fabulous view of the downtown skyline with the assistance of the wonderful Michael Berger at CuencaCondos. He's a friend (Hi Mike!) and he'd been with me through the stove thief adventures to know what I was in the market to rent.

One day when I was avoiding the apartment hunt drama and attempting to get some actual work done (I have those days. Sometimes.) I got THE CALL. It was Mike, wanting to know what I was doing right then.

"Why?"

"Because if you don't come take one of these places, I'm never speaking to you about apartments again," he said. Really, can you resist that kind of threat? I couldn't. I shut the computer and let him pick me up to take me to Luciano's apartments.

Conveniently for me the picker-outer, the building was still under construction. I got to wander through every unit and indulge my oooh-what's-that instincts to the max. Eventually I settled on a three bedroom, two bath unit on the third floor. It looked like a cement box, with windows, but the rooms were mapped out and the bathrooms were tiled. There was a kid who looked about 14 years old assembling the closet/cabinets for the bedrooms, but he seemed to know what he was doing.

I took it on faith, for $375.

It was supposed to be done with my life moved into it by October 1st.

Ahem. Check your calendars, people. I'm supposed to be doing a lot more than visiting this apartment right now!

I've watched the toilets go in. I've watched the kitchen counters get built. I've learned about the finer details of putting in granite countertops and the joys of floating hardwood floors. I've very narrowly avoided having a mauve living room (Me: "Do these pinkish thumb marks on the wall mean this is the color it's going to be?" Luciano: "Yes" Me: "NO!"), and didn't visit in time to stop from having a wheat/gold accent wall in the master bedroom. I can live with the wall.

Anytime, really. I'm ready to live with the wall!

I do have scads of pictures of the place at various stages of done - when I actually get in there I hope to have the time to post them up for sharing. Now I just use them as comfort, to verify that progress is being made and that someday - SOON - I am going to get to live in this place.

Helium Homepage Featured Writer Today

2010-10-11T09:58:00.000-07:00

Just got a note that one of my articles for Helium, "How to follow your favorite football team online" is being featured on their homepage today. It's way down at the bottom, but still there. Yay for publicity!

Reactions In Cuenca To Ecuador's Police Strike

2010-10-02T11:22:00.000-07:00

This morning, I taught my regular Saturday morning class at the Abraham Lincoln school (quick recap - to be a professor, I have to also be a private school teacher. Follow that logic? Me neither. Welcome to Ecuador). I was looking forward to it today because it was a chance to do a good survey of local reactions to this week's police strike in Ecuador.

The teachers at the school are a mix of Cuenca locals and foreigners. My students come from middle and upper class families, and they're the equivalent of sophomores in high school. My class is all girls and very sweet. They can giggle in two languages.

Anyway, our lesson today was on gangsters and heroes (I just follow the book, people) and we had to make sentences expressing who is a hero and why. Soldiers are heroes, because they save Ecuador from the police. This earned a number of solemn nods from around the class. Soldiers are also cuter than the police, which earned laughs.

The girls then confessed to having spent the day of the police strike in Ecuador mostly glued to the television with their families. Those who have relatives in Quito or Guayaquil checked in throughout the day by email and cell phone to keep tabs on the public unrest in Ecuador. Many of my Cuencana students do have family on the coast, and so checking in - especially after the roads closed - was important. All the public schools in the country were closed Friday, which the students dismissed as "boring" since exams are coming up and they had to study anyway.

Among the local teachers in Cuenca, the mood was cautious relief. Several confessed to having been truly frightened. "I'm not easily scared," said one, "but that really shook me up." Correa, after all, is supposed to be different, and not susceptible to the coup d'etats that took out a number of his predecessors.

One of the long-time foreign teachers expressed ambivalence about the whole situation. "This is my fourth coup," he said, shrugging. I didn't ask if it was his fourth coup in Ecuador, but dang. Can you imagine?

In terms of the mood on the street, there are a number of stores that should be open that are still closed today (Saturday) but no real sense of emergency. People seem to be a little shaken that it happened, but mostly relieved that it's over. Speculation about the political outcomes is rampant among expats, but the locals just shrug and say, "Who knows what will happen?"

I'm with the locals. It's Ecuador. Who knows what will happen?

Police Strike In Ecuador Leads To Quiet Night

2010-09-30T19:13:00.000-07:00

It's mid-evening in Cuenca, and it seems like it is going to be a quiet night. The news media may prove me wrong in the morning, but this photo I just took of Cuenca's streets on the first night of the police strike pretty much sums up the state of affairs around here:

I'm off until tomorrow unless something major happens. Given the crowds on the street, I think I will be sleeping peacefully tonight.

Ecuador Coup Seems Less Serious In Cuenca

2010-09-30T17:46:00.000-07:00

Tonight in Cuenca, extremists thought that rioters would be taking to the streets in response to the so-called Ecuador coup. However, walking into Parque Calderon, we surprised the crew setting up the food tent.

Food tents, people. Food tents in the middle of a mass political demonstration? What is this?

This is actually not being very serious. There were about 200 people gathered by the government buildings in Parque Calderon by 7 pm, listening to speeches in support of Correa's actions. A live band started to play when the speeches finished, and children danced in the green spaces of the park.

Shops and restaurants that were closed earlier in the day are already reopening. The bars and restaurants of Cuenca were doing a booming business as we walked to and from the park. People seem to be in a cheerful mood, even the breakfast tent crew.

What will happen next? Some of it depends on what happens tonight in other parts of the country. The Ecuadorian government has declared a state of emergency and the borders are presently closed, but if all stays quiet this police strike may be a flash-in-the-pan news event. Fingers crossed!

Cuenca Mayor Assure Us All Is Well

2010-09-30T12:55:00.000-07:00

Cuenca seems to be taking a pass on the national unrest in Ecuador. The mayor of Cuenca was just up on the news, pointing out that the local police do not intend to go on strike and insisting that all was going to be calm here.

We'll see. There are soldiers on patrol on the streets of Cuenca, though they are being quiet about it. Most shops are closed up, and the local bars are shutting down for the day to avoid the possibility of being looted. Still, the weather this afternoon is gorgeous, and it seems like most people are more interested in having a relaxing day off now that the national agencies and schools are closed than getting themselves into any kind of revolutionary fervor.

Even just a few hours into knowing about it, my impression is that locally we all have gone on high alert JUST IN CASE but probably not much is going to happen, at least until it gets dark and the beer supplies run down. Even then . . . I can smell roasting meat from the neighbors. BBQ night, perhaps? I mean, I don't want to make light of their civil unrest here, but I've seen worse in China when they rioted in Shanghai. Going to do some other things for a bit until I have more news!

Photos From The Police Strike In Ecuador

2010-09-30T12:52:00.000-07:00

Here's something you don't see everyday. The police threw tear gas - at the President of Ecuador. He was trying to give a speech, and now he's hanging out in the hospital, protected by guards.

Good quality Ecuador police strike photos here: http://www.ultimasnoticias.com.ve/LaPropiaFoto/Detalle.aspx?idTema=131

Note that Correa - the president - has a cane because he recently had knee surgery. Also, he doesn't hide behind his FBI-type people - instead, he told the police "You want to kill me? I'm here!" Don't exactly get that in the US!

Police Strike In Ecuador; Cuenca Sitting Tight

2010-09-30T12:23:00.000-07:00

The national government of Ecuador is under fire after putting an end to some of the benefits previously received by the police. The police have gone on strike, and things are getting a bit out of hand.

At the end of the day, its about money and power. In the middle of the day, it's about figuring out what's going on.

In Cuenca, things are quiet. The President of Ecuador has been hit with tear gas, and they are burning things in the streets of Guayaquil. Airline service in and out of the country has been suspended, though some flights en route are being accepted.

The Internet from Etapa, the state agency, has been in and out all morning. This afternoon we got world that the schools are closed, as well as the Supermaxi (Cuenca's biggest supermarket) and the Feria Libre (Cuenca's biggest indigenous market). People are going to ground among the gringo population, stocking their fridges and staying tuned to the television.

I'm okay. I have a full fridge, a hovering, macho boyfriend who can't quite hide his excitement about the ongoing "revolution" and I live behind three locked doors and an electric fence. I'll be on Twitter as I get updates, and I'll be in and out of the Internet as we have coverage. The Embassy is officially telling everyone to stay calm and stay home, which seems like a decent plan to me!

A Taste Of India In Cuenca

2010-09-22T12:10:00.000-07:00

Once upon a time, there was a furniture store on the corner of Benigno Malo and Calle Larga. Then there was no furniture shop and just a small paper sign announcing that it had moved. And then there was a makeover.

Painters descended like a rabid pack of rainbow-makers. Buzz saws whirred. Purple took over the ceiling. The back wall went bright orange. An electric green surrounded the windows that were already struggling to adapt to their new onion dome frames.

Under the purple ceiling, a tented canopy of beaded and sparkling fabrics pitched itself. Semi-sheer sari scarves ran away from their owners to hang on the walls. A plasma screen TV came to life on the back wall, pumping out the best of Bollywood circa 1982. Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to the Taj Mahal!

I'll confess that my first meal here was an accident. They'd left a door ajar during the last week of construction and like any good neighborhood snoop I poked my nose in to ask when they were going to be open. A nice man came and escorted my friend and I to a booth, insisting, "We are open now! Sit, sit, eat!"

Um, okay. That is a table saw being operated next to the chef, right? Clearly not important.

They bring us menus, but this is apparently just practice for the real opening night, since all they have are shawarma's (the Indian version of a gyro) and Coca-Cola. It's surprisingly delicious, considering the circumstances. The real opening day is going to be Thursday and they promise a full menu.

We make plans to test that promise, because to be perfectly honest, the "ethnic" food in Cuenca kind of stinks. There's no Thai takeout, Italian food means pasta + pizza, and spicy dishes exist only in an alternative universe I've not yet discovered. Thus, we are full prepared to be utterly disappointed by our Thursday night India feast.

Fast-forward to Saturday. I'm scratching out the notes that will become this blog post while waiting for $20 worth of $1.50 & $3.00 Indian snacks and entrees to be prepared. (I think someone is walking to India and back to get the spices. This is the only reasonable explanation for the length of the wait. Well, that and the number of items I've just ordered.) I've been sent by the gods of hungry people to "Get more samosa," "Make sure you pick up some of that bread," and "See if the other Aloo dishes are as good as the first one." The taste report:

Veggie samosas were voted to be slightly better than the chicken samosas. Get one of each anyway.
The Aloo Palak is richly spiced and delicious, but the Aloo Mutter is better.
Chicken Biryani beats Chicken Korma.
Real chai tea!!!! (after gallons of te nacional - aka the local swill - my mouth is euphoric)
Naan Saada is where it's at for the bread.

When you walk in, be prepared to roll out! The portion sizes were generous, and even the takeout was more than plenty. Frankly, as far as the taste buds are concerned, this is the best transformation that has ever happened to a furniture store!

From High School to College In Just 6 Days

2010-09-20T18:39:00.000-07:00

Last week, I found myself waking up at 6 am for the first time in years. I wasn't on my way to catch a flight, either, which is generally the only acceptable reason for my lazy writer's butt to be up that early.

I was going to school.

By 7:30 I was dressed, armed with a backpack full of study supplies, and waiting for the bus. My fellow sufferer, SF, met up with me to ensure our 25 cents was duly plunked down into the slot for Bus #4. We managed to find a seat and bumped our way over the sleepy cobblestone streets until we reached our destination at the end of the line - Colegio Santa Ana.

It's worth noting here that a Colegio is not a college. It's a high school. Colleges are Universidades, and Colegios are high schools. I've studied Spanish for years and still think this is weird.

Anyway, Colegio Santa Ana perches on the side of a large hill overlooking the main city of Cuenca. Real estate developers in the States would kill for the vista off the playground alone.

Me? I would kill for some breakfast. It's a thought that occurs to me more than once as the morning drags on. The regular teachers are all in attendance for the final days of intensive curriculum planning before school starts. I'm attending as an observer, preparing to serve as a substitute for SF's first week of classes while he attends a wedding in the States.

I'm just there to see the place and find my classroom, right? Except instead I am getting a bird's eye view of the inner working of the curriculum administration system at a Cuenca Colegio. It's interesting, as they are re-doing the guides for each grade level, but there is a lot of discussion in circles and I'm praying that this all gets sorted by the time I start subbing on Monday.

Flash forward. Friday night I get a note from SF, who's now in the States, that his school is trying to get a hold of me, that they've got some kind of emergency. By Sunday morning, it's sorted out - the emergency situation was that I've been canned in favor of someone who was able to attend all of the curriculum planning sessions.

Sadness, right? Well, not really. I'm actually relieved to not have to make the long bus ride on Monday morning, especially since I would have just lusted after the panoramic view anyway.

48 hours later, I'm sitting in a windowless room taking notes. Welcome back to University, kiddo!

As I was celebrating my new-found freedom from subbing on Sunday, I got a note about a Profesora looking for someone to cover her maternity leave. The position starts in October, but the catch is being at the first day of class to figure out what's going on and if this is going to work. So I end up perched in the back row, utterly alone as not one of the other students in the class will sit with me. I later find out this isn't social shunning of the gringa - their previous professor penalized them for not sitting up front!

Anyway, the course is called International Relations. Asking if I'm interested in the subject is like checking to see if bears really sleep in the woods.

There's more to the story, naturally, because this is Ecuador and things are never perfectly simple. The way things happen here are twisty and turny and full of the unexpected. One minute you're a sacked sub, and the next minute you're on the road to being a college professor. Asi es Ecuador!

Think South America Keeps Me From Football? Think Again!

2010-09-04T22:52:00.001-07:00

College football season is upon us, my friends, and I couldn't be happier about the return of my favorite time of the year.

Game time, naturally.

Yes, I spent the day throwing up. I do not know why, though suspect #1 is Inca's $5 sashimi for dinner and suspect #2 is 1/3 of a bottle of Pilsner. Beer + Jen = Sick. I've know this since I was about 5 years old and drinking out of cans at backyard BBQ's thinking they were soda. I'm 30 now, and despite my GPA's over the years, I'm a slow learner.

It took one thing to make me feel better:

Yes, the original strains of the Husker Tunnel Walk song, Sirius. Streaming through my computer connection, the Husker Radio network let me listen to a wonderful opening game that I am sad not to have been able to attend. Then again, my lunch yesterday was $1, with tax. Choices, you know?

Ah, Nebraska football. Music to my ears to hear Taylor Martinez run the football in for the first touchdown as well. Screw passing. I like a good running game - I really, really do. Can you throw the ball? Meh? How about run it 50 yards for a touchdown? Yes? Well, then, welcome aboard, kid.

Hopefully later in the season when more games are televised, I will be able to watch them courtesy of my friend Ben's Slingbox, which is pretty much the greatest invention ever to a fan outside the US cable markets. Until then, the radio will do me.

I mean, I have a Nebraska t-shirt, Nebraska sweatshirt, and rub-on game day Nebraska football tattoos. You think I'm missing these games for any reason?

Think again. Go Huskers!

Moving Time In Ecuador

2010-08-29T15:16:00.001-07:00

I've been a bit lax on updating with all the news going on here, in part because I am in the middle of moving. This will be the first of two house moves in the next couple months. Mike at Cuenca Condos helped me find a place that is going to be perfect . . . when it finishes in about a month. So for the next month I will be staying above the Inca Lounge in the lovely apartments owned by Juan Herredia of Terradiversa.

In the meantime I've been to Quito and back, negotiated the return of my missing underwear from the caretakers at the old place (I wish I was kidding!), written over 40 articles and blog posts, seen a dance show at California Kitchen, and possibly committed to a 10 hour motorcycle ride (yes, I'm out of my mind. More on this later).

Moving in Ecuador is an interesting process, because I don't drive. Think about that. How do you move anything anywhere? In a car. Maybe a truck. I have neither, although really I should be able to fit everything I brought down with me back into the suitcases I packed in originally.

Oh, hardy-har-har. It's a stuff explosion down here and I am trying to sort it out. When I get caught up I will let you all see the water repair disaster I am leaving behind, and let you know the story of finding a perfect, brand-new apartment for rent in Cuenca. Until then, you know where I'll be - fighting with my suitcases until everything fits!

What Do You Do With One Aspirin?

2010-08-22T20:12:00.001-07:00

So I went to the pharmacy for my friend Pete yesterday, because I was going to town anyway, his head hurt, and there were no painkillers in the house. I explained to the nice man behind the counter that my friend's head hurt and could he please sell me something like aspirin?

He did. One. That would be a single pill in a blister pack, 34 cents, thank you.

What do you do with one aspirin? I mean, yes, take it, but really, people buy these one at a time here?

Apparently so - you should have seen the look he gave me when I said, "You know, I really meant a box when I said I wanted aspirin."

Eyebrows up, mouth open. "A box?"

"Yes, please," I said.

That came to $8.50. Hmmm . . . too much since all I had was a ten and wanted snacks.

So we settled on half a box, because apparently you can do that, too. Do people not keep this kind of thing in their homes by the bottle here? Weird, weird, weird.

The Great Stove Thief Of Cuenca

2010-08-22T12:22:00.000-07:00

Apartments in Cuenca are a process to obtain, that is for darn sure. Along the way you discover all kinds of horrifying aspects of apartment life in other countries, like the electric showers. Occasionally, you discover the opportunity to have a really good laugh.

As with the stove thief.

For background, most apartments in Cuenca are completely unfurnished. And by unfurnished, I mean stripped down to the basics. There aren't bulbs in the light fixtures, appliances in the kitchen, or even mirrors in the bathroom. When you read that an apartment is unfurnished, they aren't kidding

As a foreigner here, I don't come with my own house full of furniture, so I have been looking at furnished apartments, or at the very least partially furnished places that have their kitchen appliances. One of the apartments on my list was this one from Bienes Raices Catedral, Cuenca's largest (for now) real estate agency.

Note the presence of kitchen appliances here.

A few additional notes about Bienes Raices Catedral for your reference. They say on their website that they speak English. This is true over email depending which agent you are talking to at the time, but when you get to the office, you'd better be able to habla Espanol. Though they have a large office, when Pete and I showed up for our appointment there, nobody was speaking any English, which is okay for me, but not so fun for my friend Pete, who is looking for his own place with a dog. Anyway, this is a problem with a lot of real estate places in Cuenca - you have to double check that they really are bilingual! Some can't speak any Spanish, while others can't hack it in English.

Also, the super organized and polished front that they started with quickly went downhill when we started looking at places. The first place they tried to show me was right next door, but it had already been rented and no one had bothered to tell them. Then we drove over to the condo you see in the photo above.

We walk into the place, and it is indeed a good price in a nice building near a park and a main street in the district that I want. However, when we turn to the kitchen, there's a problem.

It's completely stripped.

I mention this to the agent, and he gives me the little speech about how appliances aren't included in unfurnished rentals in Cuenca. Yeah, yeah - I know this from the nice folks over at Cuenca Condos and Cuenca's Best Properties, who've given me quite an education in the local market. But in the listing it specifically says this place is supposed to come with a refrigerator and a stove.

So we get into a little argument about it, since I want a lower monthly rent if there aren't going to be appliances. The agent tells me I'm being unreasonable and reminds me again that this is normal for Cuenca. Yes, but the listing says it comes with appliances, and because I know I'm right and the agent has a Blackberry, I invite him to look it up if he doesn't believe me.

He looks it up, muttering the whole time about how I just don't know the market and really, he's not trying to rip me off and it's a great price and so on. I don't care, I don't want to buy $1500 worth of appliances for a place that's supposed to be furnished. Look it up.

Lo an behold, the foreign lady can actually read Spanish correctly. The apartment description specifically mentions that the appliances are included, listing them by name.

Well, this freaks the agent, because 1) I'm right (Take that, doubter man) and 2) the stuff's not there. He call his office and asks them about it. They verify that the owner listed the appliances as being there, and what does he mean they aren't there now? Where did the appliances go?

We still don't know.

Needless to say, I didn't take the apartment. We left it blaming the Great Stove Thief Of Cuenca. He's a fast one, sneaky and smart, and somewhere he's got a refrigerator and stove, much to my own intense personal amusement and the chagrin of my real estate agent.

Broken Keyboard = Blessing In Disguise

2010-08-17T12:45:00.000-07:00

The letter "F" popped off my keyboard today. While some might think of it as a disaster, I'm okay with it. I've popped the keys off keyboards before, and it's actually turned out to be something of a blessing.

Put aside for a second the life skill of knowing how to put keys back on computers. That's a pretty good skill, but that's not the subject of this post. The subject of this post is how sometimes when things break, you get to find a better way of doing things.

In this case, way back last year, I killed the left hand shift key on my computer. I used to be a power shifter, and when I'm in the zone I'm a pretty fast and hard typist. Keys know when they are being pressed, and sometimes - in the case of my poor shift key - they've had all they can handle and they run for cover.

The trouble with the shift key's run for freedom across my desk was that I was in the middle of a book project with a tight deadline. There wasn't a day to take the thing in to be replaced, and my attempts to put the key back on were a failure (my mother has since showed me the way, which I deeply, deeply appreciate. As does my resecured "F" key).

So what's a freelancer to do? Deadline looming, keyboard busted . . . . tears, right?

Actually, CAPSLOCK.

Since the shift key was broken, I had to hit my CAPSLOCK whenever I needed a capital letter. At first, this felt incredibly awkward. My hands kept trying to shift where there was no shift key and it was a royal pain in the palm. I wouldn't get the CAPSLOCK key turned off in time and spent precious minutes with deleting until I retrained my auto-correct.

But then . . . it started to feel natural. And then it started to feel fast.

Now I'm hooked. Forget you, shift key - I've got CAPSLOCK. And CAPSLOCK has my loyalty, because since I got the hang of thumping it for a capital letter and then thumping it again for regular style as opposed to pinning my hand down on the shift key, I type 10 - 15 words faster per minute. You have no idea what that's worth to me under a deadline.

I've CAPSLOCK'D so much I burned my little light out. I don't know how to fix that. But it's much less important than my faster typing speed.

The "F" key reminded me today to be grateful for that original bit of breakage, though, and I just thought I'd share my new tricks with the CAPSLOCK. Give it a go and see how it feels for you, too. What differences do you notice?

A Less Ghosty Ghostwriter

2010-08-15T23:49:00.001-07:00

I'm pleased to share that one element of my life and work is coming out of the shadows! The sometimes-downfall of ghostwriting and content creation for others is its perpetual anonymity. However, one of my more fun and entertaining clients has now expanded his about page to include his team of contributors.

This gives you the opportunity to see me on the MyGermanCity.com About Page, along with Marcus and the rest of his team. I encourage you to check it out - the web site is full of information and tidbits about German life, and the overall tone is very conversational. If you are planning a trip to Germany, dreaming of relocating to Germany, or just want to know more about the country overall, we've all worked hard to make this a must-visit destination on the web.

Cuenca's Hot Water Disappointment

2010-08-05T11:07:00.000-07:00

Anyone who knows me well knows that I have a thing for showers. I LOVE THEM. Long, hot showers are somewhat critical to taking me out of zombie state and into a functional state in the morning. They're relaxing. They're good for thinking. Opera is more fun in the shower. And, as an aside, showers keep me clean.

Cold showers, on the other hand, are the worst things in the world. Nothing makes me more likely to use my worst grown up words, get all grumpy, and start hating on the universe than a cold shower. Woe betide anyone who gives me any excuse at all to be angry with them after I've had a cold shower, because it's going to feel like World War III just broke out.

My Personality After A Cold Shower

So, to the plumbers and electricians and architects of Cuenca, if you as a group don't start engineering better showers in this town, I'm going to hit you with something. Repeatedly.

At the moment, it seems as though every place I've ever taken a shower here {3 apartments + 2 guest showers} and everyone I've talked to has agreed that for the most part, there are three water temperatures available in Cuenca:

Arctic
Tepid
Scalding

Most water heater systems are gas powered, making the problem one of both heat source and pressure. On one hand, in theory, the hot water should never run out since it is continually heated as it is piped in. In practice, you have to get the water pressure just right to maximize the heating power of the gas flame. Too much and its arctic. Too little and its scalding. In the middle and . . . oh, let's face it. I spend 10 minutes a morning standing out of the spray, fiddling with the water, trying to get it to somewhere in the middle and scowling the entire time.

As a means of getting around the acknowledged problem with the gas heated showers, some systems use electric shower heads. Yes, all my North American readers, you read that right. Electric shower heads.

Scary Electric Shower Example #1

Scary Electric Shower Example #2

Thumbs Down Added By Actual User

Install these puppies the wrong way, and you'll get a shower experience you'll never forget. I had one in my second apartment, and let me tell you, fearing for my life cut into my shower time considerably. I also wore rubber flip flops to shower in religiously, just in case.

These death traps appear throughout Latin and South America. According to the Southern Baptist Missionary I talked to Tuesday, in Guatemala they are known as "Widowmakers" which seems about right. I'll never have one again.

The worst part of them, of course, is they still don't give consistently hot water, either. And yet there they are . . . in use . . . creating a whole legion of people with stories about "that time the shower caught on fire" or "the time I fried myself." Good times, people, good times.

It is a good way to distinguish yourself as an in-the-know type when looking for apartments here, though. Green out of towners ask about square footage and bedrooms. Second time around types and seasoned locals? We're asking about the hot water!

Wi-Fi Hot Spots In Cuenca Ecuador, July 2010 Edition

2010-07-27T12:45:00.000-07:00

This represents the most updated list of working wireless hot spots in Cuenca, Ecuador. I put out a list of wireless Internet connection points in Cuenca in January and there are still good comments there, but I had missed a couple and there are a few that have changed their status.

Bar Inca: You need a password to log in here, but they'll happily give it to you. Outlet is at the bar, although if you ask nicely you can also get a power strip from the back office to work on the couches. Opens at 9(ish) most days, closed Mondays, good food. 3 de Noviembre, along the river.
Cafe Austria: ~~Medium speed wireless~~. Not functional. They've changed the password from this spring, and I can't get the network to hold a connection. I am not alone in this, and Mac vs. PC doesn't appear to make a difference. Still, chocolate frogs on offer and the staff doesn't mind if you work there for hours. Benigno Malo y Juan Jaramillo.

Cafe Eucalyptus: Plug in at the bar if the wi-fi is not working, which it usually isn't. Only one person can be plugged in at the bar at a time. Evening events like salsa shows make this best for daytime use. Gran Columbia 9 - 41.
Cafecito: No password, high speed wireless. Also a youth hostel but you don't have to stay there to park in the cafe zone and use the Internet connection. Three prong plug behind the plant in the upper right corner as you arrive, round and two prong plug next to the cake display on the left.
California Kitchen: High speed wireless connection (Casa Sangurima) takes a password you can get from the staff. Closed Sundays and Mondays. Only place in Cuenca for biscuits and gravy, and the broccoli salad is also really good. Plug ins are on the left wall. Presidente Borerro y Gaspar Sangurima.
La Esquina de las Artes: The connection point here is in the courtyard by the shops, but you can also pick up some signal inside the ice cream shop. Next to the University of Cuenca, easy walk/cab from downtown.
Mall del Rio: Connection is strongest in the food court, limited places to plug in. Some can and some can't connect - doesn't seem to be a pattern here.
Millenium Plaza: Connection is strongest on the far side of the mall away from the Kentucky Fried Chicken. There's a small table with power outlets. Expect to share with a teenage gamer or two.
Mosca: Coffee shop with wi-fi and one of the only wireless Internet connections I know of in this part of Cuenca. Near the SuKasa in the Excalibur building, 22-400 Gran Columbia.

Parque Calderon: Etapatelecom operates a wi-fi hot spot in front of the tourist office. Slow {like molasses in January slow}. Remember you also have to log on for this one - the system is set up to take you to the log in screen, where it provides you with the user name and password you need. Allegedly you can hold this connection throughout the downtown, which is useful in a limited sense for iPhone and smart phone users.

Cuenca roamers, let me know how these work out for you and I'll try to keep the list updated!

O Visa, Where Art Thou?

2010-07-27T12:37:00.000-07:00

My visa officially expired yesterday. My lawyer assures me there is no problem with this, because the visa was done last week, it just wasn't signed. The guy who has to sign the visa was on vacation, no big deal, he'll do it when he gets back.

Call it a case of "You know you're not in America anymore when . . . " but seriously, only one guy in the immigration office in Quito, the capital of Ecuador, has the power to sign a visa? No one can fill in for him while he is on vacation? This is for real?

Yes, welcome to Ecuador. This is bureaucracy here. For real. This is why you need at least a month before your visa expires to renew a visa. Even if the process is only supposed to take 3 - 4 days.

Allegedly, the visa is now signed and I will get my passport WITH VISA back in my hot little hands on Thursday. Right. Do pardon me if I wonder where on earth this process is really!

Computer Repairs Overseas

2010-07-21T12:16:00.001-07:00

While I had previously reported that I'd killed my Internet connection, I don't know that I mentioned that later that week I also managed to kill the power cord for my computer. This was a much bigger emergency than my kaput wi-fi connection. After all, there are about a dozen wi-fi hot spots in Cuenca with my name on them, but I can't use any of them without power.

Naturally, I discovered this disaster at about 8 pm on a Saturday night. In case you're wondering, this is the time in Cuenca when you are least likely to be able to find any practical shop open again until Monday morning. You want beer? Plenty of that around. Same for roasted meat kabobs, taxis, or even small shops. Tech support? Bwah-hahaha, no.

Like a mature and experienced expat, I brought out my grown up words and had a bit of a cry. Where on earth was I going to go to get this fixed?

By Monday, a few options had presented themselves. It was only a matter of scheduling in enough time to check them all out. Dell did have an online store for Ecuador, but I really wanted to be able to just go pick one up as soon as possible. Grousing, complaining, and nervous about what I was going to have to spend to get what I needed {tech is about 3x as expensive here as in the States}, I headed into town.

And found my salvation for a mere $60.

Dear Targus, I love you.

I was able to find a Targus universal laptop charger at the La Victoria store just a few blocks from Parque Calderon on Gran Columbia. It took less than five minutes to explain what I needed and for the nice man to solve the problem of no physical Dell stores with this nifty thing. It even has a car charger attachment, which while I don't have a car down here is at least handy. I'm pretty much hooked up like James Bond now - a plug in for almost any situation I can imagine.

I looked up the Targus universal charger kit online later and found out it costs $104 on the Internet. I got the last one in the store, and even got a $10 discount because I was willing to pay cash on the spot. How I got something technology related for less in Ecuador than it is available online I don't even know. All I know is I once again have power, which is what I desperately needed. That guy at La Victoria is like my new best friend now, and he doesn't even know it :-)

And now to the next battle . . . fixing the personal Internet problem. Here's hoping it will be as painless as the cord replacement ended up being!

Houston, We May Have A Visa

2010-07-21T12:07:00.000-07:00

Talked with my lawyer today about my visa and it seems that the process may have gone through! Supposedly her assistant is picking it up today, which would give me another 60 days before I have to start working on a more permanent visa.

The extra time will be wonderful. A major adjustment for me coming back down here has been remembering to work on Ecuador time again. Things don't happen in anything near the speed which they are originally described, and this is endemic throughout every aspect of work in the country. Houses are finished months late, even by big-name developers. Contractors don't show. Service helpers are frequently hours late. Whatever time you're given, doubling or even tripling it is a safe bet for realistic planning.

On one hand it's great, because it makes life easy. There's no real deadline pressure for many things. On the other hand, it drives me absolutely bonkers, like a three day visa taking almost two weeks. But what can I do? This is the country I've chosen, and I'll be getting the darn thing at last! I am very excited for the moment when I have my passport back in hand - it will be a big relief.

Dear Bureaucracy, I Hate You

2010-07-16T16:44:00.001-07:00

Well, it's a beautiful Friday in Ecuador. The weather has been lovely today, and the sun setting behind the mountains out my window is mixing with the clouds to create a gentle striping of pink and lavender.

Really, there's only one thing that can ruin an evening like this.

Bureaucracy.

More specifically, the bureaucracy that is holding up my visa extension getting approved. I was supposed to get my completed paperwork and visa back on Wednesday. No word from the lawyer all day. I send an email on Thursday checking in politely - I mean, I don't want to be a nasty nag, right? I just want my ever-loving visa and my passport back in my hot little hands.

Instead, she doesn't call me. She calls my friend who went with me to her office to tell him that I need to provide her with bank statements showing a different amount in my account. Well, that's all well and good, except it's after the close of business in the US by the time I get wind of all of this and what am I supposed to do about it now?

I would probably be less incensed about this (Asi es Ecuador, as they say) had I not already spent a fair portion of my week dealing with the malfunctioning of my portable Internet connection. Apparently the internal workings of the poor thing have up and died, but finding that out definitively involved a trip to the main Porta customer service office on Gran Columbia which is dreadful. Not only did they give me wrong and incomplete information, but the process for repairs was going to day several days for me to get the thing back.

Instead, I ended up going to the sweet little shop where Porta outsources all their repairs rather than having any in-house technicians (because why would a large cell phone service provider want techs? I mean really!). They had a next day answer for me on the confirmed death of the modem. Tears for my Internet, people. Not looking forward to having to replace that!

So all unsettled and fussy, which is not ideal. However, I am blessed in a number of ways, so heading into the weekend I am trying to focus on:

My wonderful Ecuadorian friends who are hooking me up with Internet as well as a place to stay (because really, until I have that visa approved and know I can stay, I don't want to lease a place)
The sweethearts who have been suggesting places for me to teach so I can have a more permanent visa and skip all this bureaucracy crap for the next year
My father, who is awesome and handles it really well when I call all upset from foreign countries with ever-changing visa rules
The chicken lime soup from California Kitchen waiting for me
Watching Slokum do the rugby thing tomorrow
The just-for-fun web projects planned for Sunday
The reality that all of this will be solved one way or another!

I know I've got to get some new pictures up from things happening here and do updates on everything that's changed in Cuenca . . . but until then, I think this week is about over for me!

A Fiery Morning In Cuenca

2010-07-11T08:32:00.000-07:00

Came out of the house and up the road this morning to discover a house in the neighborhood on fire. I was out and about on the way to settle into watch the finals for the World Cup at the Inca Lounge when I noticed the fire.

It looked terrible. A twisting fat finger of flame was rolling up into the sky, framed by billows of black smoke and overlaid with the sounds of people yelling. I was with my friend Ben and we both took off for the fire, he much faster than I given my lifetime commitment to wearing shoes not suited for running anywhere.

By the time I hustled up to the top of the hill near the house, several things were clear:

--It had been raining a lot lately, so the surrounding area was fairly well protected

--Nobody was still in the house and everyone was okay

--The Fire Department was on the way, but the bucket brigade was a pack of all-stars. The back of the house was the center of the fire, and anyone with a clear shot, bucket, or hose was tossing water on it.

--Cement construction keeps things contained.

In just a few minutes the fire was a lot less than it had been, and with the sirens closing in we took off. Still, the memory will stick with me for a while. The fire started with the gas in the kitchen - I guess they were changing the cooking canisters {no central gas here} and something sparked. I'll be tip-toeing around the stove tops for a while!

Deja Vu, Ecuadorian Style

2010-07-09T13:58:00.000-07:00

I've arrived in Cuenca, and it's good to be back in Ecuador. Okay, so it's raining right now and I'm supposed to go out in that which is not so good, but overall I'm pleased to be here.

The odd bit is feeling like I didn't really go all that far away. Familiar faces are here, and even in Quito on the way to the visa office (so far, so good) two friends from Cuenca were on the street. Couple it with the cheek kisses and well wishes from my seatmate on the plane and it just feels like stepping back into another home.

My main problem is the luggage . . . or I should say, what my luggage did to me. I really need to make a note that I can't travel with a heavy backpack anymore. I woke up last night with muscle spasm that were excruciatingly painful. My back is not pleased, and my shoulder muscles seriously have it in for me!

Throw in bruises in my elbow-pits due to my duffel bag, blisters from walking too much in the wrong pair of shoes, and a sore place on my hip where I was nudging the purple monster bag through the various lines for customs and the airports and I'm a mess. I'll probably have a very quiet first weekend here, just trying to get my body to be happy with me again. And trying once again to track down a massage parlor that is open and taking appointments - this situation is definitely calling for reinforcements, or at least a new set of luggage!

Ecuadorian Visa Games Begin

2010-06-30T11:14:00.000-07:00

A bright start to the morning - a phone call from a visa lawyer in Quito, Ecuador.

And let the visa games begin . . .

Getting visas in Ecuador has been shifting over the last year or so, presenting some challenges for those of us who are looking at somewhat long-term presence in the country without establishing permanent residency. It used to be that you could simply renew your 90 day tourist visa rather indefinitely, a part of the famous (infamous?) visa run culture I was introduced to when I was living in Asia.

Basically, every couple of months you just needed to pop out of the country for a second and you'd get hit with a brand new batch of visa time. In China, people would run to Hong Kong for a weekend of open access Internet and superior English language bookstores. Drop the passport at the office on Friday when you get in, pick it up Monday morning when you head out, shopped, rested, and ready for more China time.

In Ecuador, the pop in and pop out option has been curtailed. No more re-juicing your tourist visa. The 90 day tourist visa now means 90 days in a calendar year, not 90 days whenever you get a new entry. Which means if I want to be in Ecuador the rest of the year, I need another kind of visa.

And so we are in the process. I'm not interested in the $25,000 investor class visa, and I'm not in the mood to pursue a property purchase. There is a work visa prospect out there on the horizon, but these things take time and evidently a collegiate diploma certified by the State Department as authentic which I've no idea how to even begin to pursue since I was under the impression that the State Department did actual things, like protect the country, versus authenticating degrees.

Also, the lawyer helpfully pointed out that you are supposed to only get a work visa in the field to match your degree. Right, because career change never happens and everyone is doing EXACTLY what they planned to do when they left college. Not entirely sure how that will work out for me, with my combination of HR, Psychology, and Spanish degrees and a career as a freelancer. Job title brainstorming seems imminent :-)

In the meantime, we are working on some kind of limited three month visa which can then be converted into any other kind of visa later. Much later, when we've figured this all out. I'll keep you updated!

Alaska . . . With No Camera, Naturally

2010-06-29T00:37:00.000-07:00

Well, I have finally come back from Alaska, with nothing photo-wise to show for myself.

And here I thought I was being so clever!

I'd been to my cousin's wedding and showed up with a camera without a battery charger. Thus, I made sure that I had a battery charger when I went to Alaska.

The camera I left in the car. In my parent's garage. Because, you know, it was happy there.

I was not so happy to be without it, although I did have a great time on the trip. If you want to know what Alaska looks like, call me. I'll be happy to tell you what I saw, even if I'll never be able to show you.

In other news . . . 9 days to Ecuador Part II . . . packing nightmare commences in 3 . . 2 . . oh wait, it's already here!

The Texas Ten Conference Logo

2010-06-16T15:05:00.000-07:00

I'll confess, I "borrowed" this from my friend AK, who posted it up where I could grab it.

I did have a good laugh at this. Funnier to me is how totally okay I am with Nebraska giving the Big 12 Conference the peace out in favor of the Big 10 . . . which now has 12 teams while the Big 12 only has 10. I try not to focus on that ridiculousness; it makes my head hurt.

Part of the peace with the new arrangement is that I am quite happy to drive to Big 10 game sites. In fact, I think some of the commuting might actually be shorter, ensuring that Nebraska fans will have more opportunities than ever to take our show on the road. Admittedly, there won't be able more 80 degree games in December in Texas, but you know, we're actually pretty used to lousy weather up here. We're going to be fine.

Also a bonus? I know good places to go for game watching in some of our new conference cities. Joe Sensors in Minneapolis has a fond place in my heart, thanks in no small part to the fierce contingent of Nebraska fans that regularly went there. They have a band, pumping out the team songs and generally contributing to the fun Go Big Red atmosphere. Admittedly, you do need to get there at least an hour before game time to get a decent seat, but the food is okay, so no worries there. Like it really kills you to endure extra sports with the Minnesotans on game day, don'tcha know?

Anyway . . . who's excited for the new season ahead? Me, me, me . . . and it's only June ;-)

Two Flavors Of Awesome: Zombie and Chocolate

2010-06-10T14:15:00.001-07:00

It has been a very busy, busy couple of weeks of traveling. It's like I've adopted a new theme song based on the number of miles I've tacked on the car:

The worst part about that song? Half the places he names in that song are places I've been or are going just in the last three months. And that includes Alaska.

So it's not exactly a surprise that I'm getting a little travel weary over here. Fortunately, in all this running around, I've discovered several slices of awesome out there in the world. Some of them will get their own listings and just forgive me if they are out of order. Two, however, I feel the need to mention here.

First, the flavor that eats you: Zombie.

I was gifted with an audiobook of World War Z, which is about a zombie plague that threatens world existence. Just stop laughing now, because it's so good it's unbelievable. Told in a series of interviews by different character voices (including Mark Hamill aka Luke Skywalker and Alan Alda from M*A*S*H) the audiobook describes the near end of the world thanks to an outbreak of zombies.

While not a hysterically funny book, it is subtly amusing and very thought provoking. You can even play "Would I have survived?" with the risk calculator on the official website. I'm only at 43%.

World War Z was written by Max Brooks (son of Mel Brooks) and the movie version is supposed to be out in 2012. Fun trivia? The guy who bought the rights to this, thinking it would be a good movie, is Brad Pitt. But whatever about him, right? You need something good to listen to or read this summer, I'm pegging you with World War Z, and if you see me I give you permission to borrow my copy of the audiobook.

Next, the flavor you eat: Pretzel M&Ms

I showed up in North Carolina and was presented with a bit of chocolate salty crunchy deliciousness the likes of which I had never seen before.

I don't even know if you can buy these in Nebraska. But so help me, I will find out. Writers need chocolate to function . . . or at least this one does, and the better the chocolate, the better I work. The bag of these that I sampled is sadly empty, so this post will close with a small plea: Somebody find me more of these!

$50 Sunglasses: The Dangers of Promotional Writing

2010-05-26T14:06:00.000-07:00

I got back from my most recent out-of-state adventure and was excited because my sunglasses have arrived.

Sunglasses that I don't really need, but I do. I do. I sold them to myself, after all.

They're Italian. Vintage. And they promise to be much better for my eyes than the $5 drugstore sunglasses I've been using for the last couple of years. Although now I will have to actually care where they are and watch out to ensure I don't sit on them!

I'm not supposed to have them at all, naturally. They break one of the cardinal rules of promotional writing, which is to love the products . . . but don't buy them!

If I bought one of everything I wrote about, I would have a house full of beautiful things and absolutely no money in the bank. Hence, the no-buy rule for my promotional work. It keeps my bank account insulated from trips to Spanish beachfront hotels, my bathroom free of Chi Nano curling irons, my sister's house devoid of Frontline Flea treatments, and my parents' yard uncluttered by solar alarm systems . . . just to mention a few of the things from the last month.

And yet this sales cynic sold herself on Italian sunglasses. Sigh. Will I never learn? It's one of the dangers of promotional writing - you are so busy convincing the target market that you can definitely end up convincing yourself.

The sunglasses will also come in handy for the next stage of summer roaming at hand. It's been hard to keep up with the blog and any other hobbies as I've been running between weddings and graduations and trying to work all the while. The next big jaunt is a drive from Nebraska to Washington DC for a cousin's wedding, and then I will be roaming on to North Carolina to visit dear friends and my storage unit. It will be hot, the sun will be out, and I will *need* those sunglasses, dear reader, really *need* them.

Definitely *need* . . . right . . . oh well. I do love my job, even if I do oversell to myself at the end of the day. Have a good laugh at my expense, and watch out for your own impulsive buys!

I'm As Old As Pac Man

2010-05-22T01:09:00.000-07:00

Apparently, I'm not the only one turning 30 this year. It seems that the popular arcade game, Pac Man, is also 30 this year.

Google did not make a game for my birthday.

However, they did make a game for the Pac Man birthday out of the Google logo that appears above their search box on the main Google.com page.

Hit "Insert Coin" or just double click on the banner and you can use your arrow keys to play. If you hit "Insert Coin" twice, or keep clicking on the icon, you can get Mrs. Pac Man for two players, and play with a friend. Note that the second player has to use W-A-S-D as their arrow keys.

I made it through 8 levels on the first try. It's kind of fun. Very addicting, just like the real thing. I stink at the game, just like the real thing, too. Apparently 8 - 10 levels is about my limit.

It apparently has 256 levels. Dear Lord, who has that kind of free time?

Google is leaving the game up for the weekend, so why not play? Do note that in the bottom left corner of the play box there is a sound icon - the game has original style arcade siren sound, and it can get a little annoying by the third level.

Career Pick Me Ups: Client Love

2010-05-05T07:13:00.000-07:00

Working outside of an office setting and being your own boss, it is sometimes hard to get that "way to go" love you get from co-workers in a real job when you finish a piece of work. After all, freelancing you work for yourself, and I've found that nobody gives a tougher performance review than I do. Unless I've absolutely knocked it out of the park in my own mind, there's no A+ rating from my internal boss voice.

In the midst of the continual grinding mental 360 review that I am always giving my work, it is FABULOUS to hear the positive voice of a client. My mailbox this morning contained the kind of client feedback I love to see:

"Once again another great job! I am very pleased to be working with you!"

Not that long, not that detailed, but you know what? Acknowledgment and a little praise go a long, long way in this business. This particular piece of feedback is also precious to me this morning because this is a new client I've picked up, and I always get extra nervous working with new clients. I'm also tired from having promised to complete too many projects before this weekend {what is this sleep you speak of?}, and the mental pick me up is very appreciated right now.

In the spirit of spreading the love, if you work with any freelancers . . . or for that matter, if you have anyone around you that you haven't yet thanked for a favor or praised for a job well done, make today the day you share. If it means half as much to them as it does to me, you'll completely make their morning.

Writer Humor: I Shot The Serif

2010-04-30T14:12:00.001-07:00

After being a little heavy at people yesterday, I thought I would share a wee bit of writer humor today:

If you don't find it hysterical, well, that's why writers are a special breed unto their own! ;-)

How To Really Quit Your Day Job

2010-04-29T12:43:00.000-07:00

One of the things that I often hear from people who find out I am a freelancer is "Oh, I wish I could do that."

I say, "You can. What's stopping you?"

This usually gets a nervous laugh and a swift change of subject. Others will laugh and then go, "Oh, I could never do that because of {list of things that may or may not be true obstacles but are usually artificial barriers in my mind}"

The thing is, if you really want to do it, find a way to do it. And if you fail, learn from that and try again.

However, you don't have to be an idiot about it, and there is a lot of great advice out there for people looking to make the switch from day job to freelancing / owning their own business.

I was reminded of that today by Dave Navarro's guest blog on IttyBiz {which is a fabulous resource site, btw}. The post is called, "How To Stop Screwing Around And Really Quit Your Day Job" and if you're even thinking about leaving your day job behind, go read it. Don't tell me you wish you could be a freelancer or have your own business. That doesn't get you anywhere.

Go.

Read.

Do.

Twitter Trumped By Telephones In Small Towns

2010-04-20T15:23:00.000-07:00

One thing that repeatedly jars me out of my optimal work zone when I am visiting my parents is the telephone. It rings all the damn time. Rings are not limited to the land line either - my mother's cell phone rings constantly, and often at the same time as the land line. Just because it can.

The telephone ringing off the hook serves a serious purpose in a small town. It serves as the Twitter of the greater Western Nebraska network in which my family lives. Information moves by phone from one end of the state to the other at practically the speed of light. Good news, bad news, weird news. . . people 300 miles away know about it in real time out here.

"Did you hear that. . . .?"

Oh, people have email. But why bother to type out an instant message when you can pick up the phone and call?

In fact, when you receive an email out here, it seems as though it absolutely must be either preceded or followed by a phone call. There's "I'm going to send you an email", "Did you get my email?" and "I just saw this email. . . " All three phrases seem to be independent merit for a phone call to talk about the contents of the message.

It completely baffles me. I don't know if it's a generational thing, a cultural thing, or a technology thing, but I never cease to be amazed at the network of information that is being shared out here over the phone even though other message distribution systems are in place as an option. Sometimes I think Twitter or some other social media network will spring up to replace the ever-ringing phone, but at the moment telephones reign supreme.

And now if you'll excuse me, the phone is ringing. . . again.

Freelancers Look Like Crap

2010-04-19T16:16:00.001-07:00

The doorbell rang this afternoon, and I had one of those moments. You know the one. . . Oh, no, someone's going to see me like this!

You think I would be used to this by now. After all, I've been freelancing for a while now, and pajama wear at 4 in the afternoon just comes with the territory. My postman in North Carolina got to see me with a full blue clay mask on one day, too. I'd been busy typing away on an interesting project all day and I answered the door when he knocked without thinking. It happens.

Now, I know that there are other freelancer advice sites out there that will tell you that the only way you are ever going to be a successful freelancer is if you get up and dressed in the morning. Otherwise, you just aren't serious about your business. I mean, how could you possibly be serious about your business unless you are in business attire?

I sometimes wonder where these people find the extra time in the day to waste on hair fixing, shaving, make up applying, doing laundry, and ironing. For that matter, they're a lot less busy than I am if they have time to roam the mall for new business outfits and hit up the dry cleaners on a regular basis.

Frankly, I've got clients who would love it if I never showered again and just worked on their projects non-stop. After all, they don't have to smell me.

I've had to draw the line somewhere, and I fight for personal time. I especially fight for that very wonderful personal time - guilt free personal time, where you are honestly all caught up and not just saying you are so you can have a nice weekend with the family.

Naturally, there are trade offs in every decision you make. I've decided that unless I'm planning to see other people that day, my hairstyle is called "out of my face" and my outfit is modeled after the consistently popular style known as "clean". This means that most of the time by professional standards I look like crap, but I'm (mostly) okay with that.

In my experience, there are thousand of successful freelancers just like me, sitting in comfortable but ugly pants at the computer, wearing natty t-shirts left over from college or high school, and living in fear of unexpected guests at the door. Other people may be better dressed, but I'm getting my work done.

Tax Tips For Writers

2010-04-15T13:55:00.000-07:00

As I zombied out of bed this morning, I thought that I would share a few nuggets of tax wisdom with my fellow writers, based on my experiences over the last week doing my taxes. I finally finished in the wee hours of the morning last night, but there's no reason your experience can't be better than mine!

Turbo Tax is a friend. Look, it's all well and good to be doing your taxes by hand. You're a smart person, and you can do it. But let's face it, we'd all rather be writing. Turbo Tax is your friend - your friend who remembers to ask you things like, "Would you like to enter your home office expenses now?" and "Did you know you qualify for a deduction?"
Save that receipt and write on it. You know you should be saving your receipts. You may even have a system. What you really need, however, is a ball point pen. Use the pen to write on the receipt what it is for, why you are saving it, the amount, and the date. This not only helps you get the receipt categorized properly, it also saves you when the faint printing on the slip from the store or restaurant fades out entirely. You won't be staring a smudgy piece of carbon paper wondering, "What was this for?" when you've got all the data in real ink.
Print out statements and summaries. I know, I know... the trees are crying. However, when I'm trying to find the transaction that matches up for my set of drawers for the office, being able to flip to it on the printed page vs. having to scroll through pages online is a real time saver. Also, you can then bundle these statements with your notes and tax forms for filing, so that everything you need will be in one place should you ever be audited.
Remember deductions mean you, too. Just because you are self-employed or work out of your home doesn't mean you don't qualify for tradition work related deductions, so be sure to check for them. For example, in 2009 we have a $400 Making Work Pay credit available, but I wouldn't have thought to apply for it if my Dad and Turbo Tax hadn't mentioned it.
Extend if you must. Extensions are available, and you can file for them online. The catch is that you have to pay what you think you owe now, or face penalties later. However, if you're really struggling to sort things out, go for that tax extension. Just don't procrastinate about getting them in later!

I'm sure there are many more tax tips out there, but these were just some that I'm focused on today as I finish my 2009 taxes. I've already made notes to make next year easier, and I love hearing everyone's tax advice!

Adjusting Back To American Life

2010-04-13T14:10:00.000-07:00

It's been a little over a week now since I've been back in Nebraska, which is where I think of as home no matter where I roam. I think it's a little obvious by now that I have no interest in living here full time (Dear Snow: I hate you) but I still think of it as "my" place in the world.

That having been said, it's being weird being back in America. I think that as a result of being a frequent traveler, it has gotten easier for me to switch into "away" mode, or even what might be described as "international" mode. This sometimes makes it difficult for me to 100% switch back to being an American, or for that matter, being a Nebraskan.

A couple of other things that have been hitting me this past week:

Noise. In Ecuador, or for that matter, China, SE Asia, and many parts of Europe, they don't do the indoor speakers thing. In America, nearly every venue you visit for dining, coffee, or entertainment comes with its own soundtrack. At Sunday brunch at the Golden Spur Steakhouse (huge portions!) I got hit with both the piped in music AND a video screen displaying the accompanying video. Needless to say, the tabletop conversation suffered.
Price. I'd told everyone that for my 30th birthday I wanted funds for a new wardrobe. Unfortunately, I'd forgotten that one of the things that happens when you move to cheap country like Ecuador and then come back to shop in an expensive country like America you get sticker shock. Hardcore sticker shock. I know a girl paying $110 per month for her unfurnished apartment in Cuenca. I'm sure as heck not paying $110 for pants in Lincoln. Why hello, ebay. . . I've become a fiend. It's like bargain shopping again, only with shipping charges. Ouch!
Weather. Gusts up to 50 mph today. . . and because I'm inherently Nebraskan, I think that's not that weird. There's also been snow since I've been home, while I know in Cuenca they're not facing much more than rain and you can wear t-shirts even at 8200 feet. Just makes me marvel at the differences the world's geography generates, and motivates me to dig more jackets out of the closet.

What hits you when you travel and move around? Do you find it easy to switch back and forth between places? What becomes normal or odd for you?

Why Ecuador and Why Cuenca?

2010-04-04T08:43:00.000-07:00

Why Ecuador and Why Cuenca?

I've had many people ask me over the last few weeks and months "Why Ecuador?" and its natural follow-up, "Why Cuenca?" I imagine that this will only intensify since I am planning to go back later this summer.

The short answer for me is that it is affordable, warm enough, and full of people with whom I get along. There is also the lovely Kookaburra Cafe, Bar Inca, and the Tutto Freddo that all have food I very much enjoy.

However, I am not the only one who is a fan of Ecuador at the moment. International Living's 2010 Quality of Life Index rated Ecuador as #3 in the world for best climate. Cuenca, my city of choice, is listed as one of the easiest cities in the world in which to retire (although thank goodness it isn't chock full of retirees!) There are several younger expats in the city, keeping it from being a glorified retirement village.

Other fan worthy facts about Cuenca and Ecuador include:

The water in Cuenca is one of the cleanest in South America. You drink straight from the tap with no problems.
They use the US dollar (which has its pros and cons on a macroeconomic scale, but sure makes life easier on the ground!)
People are friendly (muy amable) and the country is very navigable
Did I mention there's no snow? I like that part A LOT!

Thus, for me, "Why Ecuador?" boils down to my corner of the country offering me good company, good food, and an affordable price of living. I can make fan lists like the above for more justification, but there's just a feeling on the ground that makes me happy to be choosing Ecuador at the moment. Will it be a permanent choice? Who knows! There's a whole world out there and I'm a chronic nomad. However, it is the choice for now. . .

Happy Easter!

2010-04-03T23:54:00.000-07:00

However you celebrate Easter, I hope you have a fabulous day. I'm back in Nebraska with the family, so I know that my day will be filled with bad jokes, good food, and great company.

I'm too old for Easter Egg hunts, officially (although unofficially I will still be competing when I can) so I have to settle for Easter Egg humor:

The Halloween Style Eggs

The Murder in Progress

Cute Egg Couple

The Why Aren't You Enjoying Your Easter Egg

Have a wonderful Easter!

Two Months Later, Facebook Responds To Help Request

2010-04-03T20:34:00.000-07:00

As many of you know, way back in February, I had my Facebook account hijacked. I reported the hijacking almost as soon as it occurred and had several of my friends also report it so that the issue could be resolved more quickly. However, it was still several days before Facebook help replied, and weeks went by before my account was finally restored.

Now it is April, and I was surprised to receive the following note in response to my original request for aid:

Hi,

We apologize for our delayed response to your inquiry. Unfortunately, we will not be able to answer the ticket you have submitted. We have recently made improvements to our Help Center to better assist people with problems like the one you are experiencing. If you have not been able to resolve this issue, please visit the Security section of the Help Center and submit a new ticket using the appropriate contact form. To assist us in diagnosing your issue, please carefully review each of the options in the Help Center and select the contact form that best describes your situation:

http://www.facebook.com/help.php

We apologize for any inconvenience this may cause. Thanks,

The Facebook Team

It's an odd message, especially considering that it comes to me:

Two months after I reported the issue
After they fixed my problem

I can only conclude, as have many others, that Facebook lives in its own special bubble. Within that bubble, there is an alternative universe known as the Help Center. Lord only knows what standards of reality prevail there.

For further amusement, you can read about what happens when the Help Center advises the Customer Service department and Product Development teams in Lisa Barone's excellent post:

Stepping Out In San Francisco

2010-03-30T17:42:00.000-07:00

Even though I often agree with Mark Twain's mis-attributed assertion that "The coldest winter I ever spent was that summer in San Francisco," there is no doubt that I enjoy being in the city. For starters, almost everywhere you look there's the water and one of the city's fabulous bridge.

The Distant Bridge Here Is The Bay Bridge

There's also the generally fun vibe of the town, and the fact that almost everywhere you go in the downtown area there is something to see, someone to stare at (yes, I'm talking about you, crazy man arguing with a trash can), and a delicious restaurant.

My personal favorite is Burma Superstar, which is absolutely the best (Burmese) food in the world. We went there yesterday and had several delicious goodies, and I swear I am going to hunt down the recipe for the cardamon chicken and rice casserole. MMMmmmm.

Tonight was quieter. It's been raining, bringing in fog and making the city stay indoors. Thus, instead of going outside properly, I was introduced to the hot tub at my friend's building. Right, hot tubbing in San Francisco, looking up at the stars and out at the Bay Bridge. . . it's almost enough to make me move here.

Almost.

Nebraska bound in the morning, however. . . .wonder what I will find there for amusement without the bridges and the ocean?

First View Of America

2010-03-30T00:53:00.000-07:00

I've now officially been back in the United States for a week. It's been a little crazy, to be sure. I'd definitely gotten used to the sleepy speed of Cuenca. Maybe I shouldn't have started with the East Coast!

My First Shot of the States - Princeton

On the other hand, while Cuenca seems suspended in its perpetual summer season, I can definitely tell that springtime is just beginning to dawn in the United States.

Princeton's campus was beautiful as a first impression of America again. After the bustle of the airport and the jostling of the train, it felt great to step out of the Dinky station and into the crisp spring air. I walked all over the campus on my way to the library, where I waited for my ride to get off work. While I waited, I had the chance to watch all the college kids (and they do seem like kids now!) jogging in clumps and marching in and out of the library hauling the weight of their mid-terms around on their shoulders.

My initial wonder at all of it has faded somewhat - I'm tired! While you are supposed to feel fabulous physically when you come down from extended time at high elevations, I don't think the effect lasts between multiple flights and both US coasts. I was only in New Jersey for a few days, and am now trying to catch my breath in San Francisco. Eventually I will be adjusted to my proper elevation, proper time zone, and proper temperature. . . .

. . . probably just in time to head to the airport again on Wednesday! ;-) More posts as I adjust to the new environment and American pace of life again!

A $20 Adventure At The Cuenca Dentist's Office

2010-03-17T17:37:00.000-07:00

I can't stop running my tongue over my teeth and smiling in the mirror today.

I've been to the dentist, and I couldn't be more pleased.

Recommended by a friend who had his entire mouth redone, Paula Dominguez has a simple office located just off Solano on Daniel Cordova Toral. It's behind the Colegio de Benigno Malo for those of you that are landmark driven. The building is a part of a longer strip of clinics and consultants offices. I made by appointment by phone - she speaks some English, but her husband is fluent, and so they work it out that way (cell: 097 - 868908).

When I arrived, she greeted me and asked after my teeth. I didn't really have any problem to report, other than having not been to the dentist's office in about a year. I'd already been planning to come to Ecuador, and I knew dental services were cheaper done here, so I'd been putting it off. In Ecuador as well they don't really have dental technicians, so even basic work is done here by the doctor.

She put me in the chair and then DANG, did my teeth ever get cleaned. She did an amazing job, checking over each tooth and cleaning them all twice, I swear. She even took the tooth polisher and cleaned my tongue, which tickled like crazy but was kind of fun, too.

Then she brought me a mirror so I could check out my smile and WOW. It looked like I'd had a whitening treatment, as she'd somehow managed to remove all evidence of the bazillionty trillion cups of black tea that I drink on a regular basis.

Total cost for an hour of high touch dental cleaning? $20. Totally worth it, as I couldn't be more pleased with my mouth!

Cinnamon Roll Sadness

2010-03-17T14:14:00.001-07:00

One of the things that I frequently forget about Cuenca is how high the city really is above sea level. At 8,200 feet, altitude is an important factor to remember.

Especially when you're cooking.

I recently attempted to make cinnamon rolls, craving a taste of home. Unfortunately, no one in the kitchen with me remembered that yeast reacts differently at high altitudes. If you are cooking with yeast, you are supposed to take out one teaspoon of sugar for each cup in the recipe, and shorten up the leavening time by 15 - 20 minutes.

Oops?

The recipe can also be used to make dinner rolls, if you let the dough rise twice. . . or let it rise the full time limit at 8,200 feet. Instead of cinnamon rolls, I ended up with sweet dinner rolls sitting in cinna-goo. Edible, but definitely not what I wanted!

Photo of Motorbiking In Cuenca

2010-03-17T14:14:00.000-07:00

We were actually captured on film as we headed out to the streets on the Yamaha scooter by Court, the owner of Ecuador Freedom Bike Rental. Check out those smiles!

My First Motorcycle Ride In Ecuador

2010-03-15T17:52:00.000-07:00

I just survived my first motorcycle ride in Ecuador.

Actually, I should say I just ENJOYED my first motorcycle ride in Ecuador. And the bike was, technically, a scooter.

The Yahama Zuma Scooter

The ride was one of those very happy Ecuadorian accidents that happen. My friend and I had just stopped by to say hello to our friends at Ecuador Freedom Bike Rental. It's a mountain bike, scooter, dirt bike, and motorcycle rental shop that they just opened up last week, so while we were in the neighborhood we thought we would stop by and see how they were doing.

When we got there, Court, one of the owners, was just closing up shop. His enthusiasm for bikes is contagious, and he loves to share what he knows with people. Which may explain how 10 minutes later I was perched on the back of the bike above, heading off into Cuencan traffic in rush hour.

Um. . . whee?

After the first five minutes, when I wondered if we were going to die since we launched right into one of the busiest roundabouts in town, I settled down into the sheer awesomeness of zipping through the streets. We stopped off at the Supermaxi for dinner supplies and then headed out to find home.

Remarkably, we didn't even get lost once! Cuenca is laid out in a general grid, especially around the Centro, which is the historic downtown. We went through the Centro, across Avenida de las Americas (one of the biggest streets in Cuenca) and up and down the hills to my friend's house without incident. We only really got crowded by a driver once, in the turn lane on Avenida de las Americas, and other than that the drivers were really pretty polite and good about sharing the roads even on the roundabouts.

All in all, it was a super fun ride. The scooter was an automatic, so it was really easy to steer once Court showed us what to do, and even as night fell we could see perfectly well. Definitely going to have to try that again!

Lime Juice For Bug Bites?

2010-03-15T10:36:00.000-07:00

Remember a couple of weeks ago when I mentioned that there weren't many bugs in Cuenca? Apparently I spoke too soon!

Rainy season has kicked off. This means that we have glorious sunny mornings, and then it will rain in the evenings or maybe for an hour or two in the afternoon. It breaks up the day and has added a nice touch of moisture to a climate that had been getting a little dry.

It also brought the bugs.

By bugs, I mean "las moscas," a loose term which covers mosquitoes, gnats, and flies. Pretty much anything that flies around and bites you in the night. . . which is why I've been waking up to some impressively swollen bug bites. It's night to have the windows open, but they don't do screens here, and something has been eating me alive.

And the bites itch. Oh sweet Jesus, do they ever itch!

I've tried Benadryl. I've tried cortisone cream. Seeing me scratch like a flea-infested dog at the Kookaburra Cafe yesterday, the owner suggested I put lime juice on my bug bites to neutralize the reaction and take down the itching.

I've never heard of this as a cure before, but at this point I'll try anything. Thus, I currently smell like a margarita on the run. . . I'll let you know if this works. Also open to other quick cure suggestions!

Expats: Include Them All, Even The Weirdos

2010-03-12T09:22:00.000-08:00

One major feature of the expat life is that beggars can't be choosers when it comes to home country friends. One minute you are talking with the most interesting creative mind you've met in years, and the next minute you're cornered conversationally by someone you suspect was dropped on their head as a child and annually every year since.

Perpetual travelers find more than their fair share of crackpots in their midst. Some days it feels like the motto is "Have conspiracy theory, will travel!"

On the other hand, without these types around for contrast, you'd never appreciate the warm and truly balanced souls that also line the globe. Thus, even though sometimes you wish the nutters would crawl back under whatever rock they crept out from, there is no doubt that to have the breadth of acquaintances that make the world rich you have to include them all!

Prices in Cuenca Ecuador: The Vice Squad Edition

2010-03-08T21:40:00.000-08:00

Coming off a visit to the police station, I thought it might be fun to share a price list for some of the vices in life available here in Ecuador. Compare and contrast with your local black market and/or underground economy!

Coffee: 50 cents - $2, depending if you are drinking local black or a fancy schmancy thing.

Pack of Cigarettes: $1.60. Many small shops and bars also sell cigarettes individually for 15 - 25 cents each.

Cocktail: $2.50 - $3

Glass of Wine: $2 and up, depending on the vintage. A boxed liter of Clos (a reasonably quaffable Chilean red) is sold for $5 - $7, with other regional bottles of wine available for $10 - $13.

Bottle of beer: Okay, so beer is available in two sizes. "Pequenos" are what we might think of as a standard beer. "Grandes" are about double that size. Most locals don't bother with Pequenos, opting instead to get cups and split Grandes. At cheaper local places, you can get a Grande for 75 cents. Mid-scale bars will charge around $1.50, and some of the expat places will charge you as much as $2.75. Common beer brands are Brahma, Club, and Pilsner.

Condoms: $2.80 (ish) for three. These are sold at pharmacies and available only behind the counter. The big local brand is Duo, with Lifestyles and Trojans as the major foreign players. I haven't seen any other kinds of contraceptives on sale (it is a Catholic country, after all), and there hasn't been a single adult store anywhere in the city that I've found, although I haven't been looking.

Hookers: No idea. Mainly located in the immediate vicinity of the municipal bus station. Have been warned by locals that many hookers here are cross dressers. No idea what to make of that . . . negotiate at your own risk!

Marijuana: Reportedly $175 - $200 per pound. And yes, that is pound and not ounce. However, most of the marijuana in Cuenca actually comes from somewhere else, like Quito or Guayaquil. Apparently local growers and suppliers are very difficult to find. The discussion on this has been interesting to me, because a number of the expats down here really love their weed and have been shocked to find that there was better availability of the stuff at home in the States thanks to our medical marijuana laws, lax enforcement, and other loopholes. There truly is little that is more comical than seeing a 70 year old prim retiree grouch about not being able to find a source in order to smoke up. . . for medical reasons, of course ;-)

And that's what I know . . . no idea on hard drugs. South America may be famous for their cartels, but although I've read about busts in the newspapers, I haven't seen much in the way of a hard drug culture in Cuenca to have any price points to share!

Saturday Night With The Ecuadorian Police

2010-03-06T19:24:00.000-08:00

My friend Ben commented to me the other day that in his six months in Ecuador, he had experienced more life than he had during years in the States. I would have to agree. If there has been one constant of my time in Ecuador, it has been new experiences and upheaval.

Last night was no different.

Somehow, in my path to a BBQ, I signed my name to four copies of an official statement regarding the murder of one Francisco Flores Flores, better known as Paco. It's another chapter in a unique story that I'm involved in only tangentially, mainly as a translator. Basically, an Ecuadorian friend of a friend was murdered in what was thought to be a home invasion and robbery, since his car was taken and later found burned on the side of the road.

Not exactly. . .

As more details emerge, it seems that this may have actually been a crime of passion based on a secret lifestyle that was being lived by the deceased. The family didn't know anything about it, although the accused was living with the deceased, but in an odd twist of fate, my gringo friends hosted a party for the Carneval where the number one suspect may have made his appearance. As the only ones who have met the suspect, we needed to come into the police stations to make a formal statement and look at some photos taken from Paco's computer to see if we could ID the suspect.

The police station was nothing like you might expect, even counting terrible TV stereotypes. The inspector was dressed in street clothes, and the waiting lounge had Bend It Like Beckham playing on the TV. There was one uniformed officer at the door, but everyone else seemed as though they had just wandered in wearing whatever. A small child (no idea whose!) slept on a couch behind the main desk.

As the owner of the best Spanish, I got to serve as the translator back and forth between the inspector and my group of Americans. It was a challenge, but also really interesting. We worked together to type up the final statement, and since I helped I had to sign it as the "traductora" before they printed it off on an antique dot matrix Epson. Somewhere there was a copy machine to make the four copies, and someone at the station has Internet savvy since they had accessed Paco's computers for the photos.

The whole process took a little over four hours, from our initial visit to the photo id attempt (no luck, sadly). I was completely exhausted by the end, but it was also fascinating to see how the police system works here to do an investigation on a first hand basis.

This Little Witch Grew Up

2010-03-01T08:51:00.000-08:00

Seen here with the siblings who've tolerated me for all these years!

When I was a kid, I had a lot of plans for when I was 30. Since 30 represented the age at which I would be practically a geriatric, I was sure by that time I would have a beautiful house, lots of kids, a career, money, and a pony. I've no idea why the pony was in there, given that I haven't been on a horse in years, but you know, hey, they were daydreams.

The reality is a lot different.

For starters, no ponies. You see the sling on my arm in the picture? I haven't gotten any more coordinated with age. All those ballet lessons and the gymnastics have managed to keep me out of a wheelchair (thanks Mom & Dad!) but I still have a penchant for really high heels (thanks Grandma!) and a tendency to run off to foreign countries with uneven sidewalks.

The other thing is that I don't feel particularly geriatric. Frankly, I'm having a hard time even feeling like I'm 30. I woke up this morning feeling the same as I did when I was in my 20's. Actually, I felt better than I did for most of my 20's, because last night I got a full eight hours of sleep ;-)

There's no house full of kids, my career is non-traditional, and money is something to be spent on airplane tickets instead of stockpiled. So my 10 year old plans for my old age have not exactly come to pass, but that's okay.

Instead of what I had planned, I've had a few trips around the world and amassed enough memories to bore my eventual grandchildren to tears three times over. Uphill. Both ways. Barefoot on broken glass, BEFORE there was Internet.

What will the next 30 years hold? My sister asked me today and you know, I have no idea. Fortunately, the day is young and at heart, so am I.

Facebook Takes 22 Days To Fix Account Problems

2010-03-01T08:46:00.000-08:00

Ladies and Gentlemen, boys and girls. . . 22 days after the original hijiacking, my Facebook account is back!

*golf claps for the Facebook security team*

While I am thrilled to have my Facebook account back, I am still so underwhelmed by the Facebook security team's response to this whole thing that I just don't even have words. Which is pretty impressive, since I make my living doing 300 - 500 words on almost anything under the sun. For an massive organization, either Facebook doesn't monetize well enough to have sufficient customer response to handle a security issue in less than 3 weeks, or they've got a bunch of high schoolers running that show in their free time.

In other news, guess who no longer recommends setting up a Facebook page to any business? First two guesses don't count . . .

The People You Meet In Cuenca: Minneapolis Based Craftsmen

2010-02-26T10:08:00.000-08:00

I could do a hundred posts on the fabulous characters I have met since arriving in Cuenca, Ecuador. Not to malign the United States, but nowhere that I've lived there ever compares to the variety of people that you meet when you are traveling abroad!

Today I just finished an hour long conversation about the supply chain for Ukrainian Easter Eggs with a lovely man from Minneapolis. He's an engineer, and he's built several tools for processing the wax used to make the egg design. He's a supplier for this well-known Minneapolis landmark:

If you've ever been in the Ukrainian Gift Shop you know what a unique treasure it is to browse and buy. The wood for the sticks used to make the patterns comes from Lithuania, but it is processed in Minneapolis before being sent to the Ukraine. There, the copper for the beeswax funnels is hand-processed by the owners' family before being sent back to Minneapolis, where the beeswax used in the designs is extruded and loaded into the sticks.

Although I'm supposed to be working, conversations like these always make my day. I love the learning and the novelty of it all, and it was just so funny and interesting to meet someone from where I used to live and then get a tutorial on an art form that I've always thought was cool. You definitely learn a lot when you hit the road, and not always about the things you think you will when you set out!

Fighting A Cold In Cuenca

2010-02-24T15:56:00.000-08:00

The dry rainy season in Cuenca has taken a turn for the wet, and my sinuses have taken a turn for the worst!

Despite having escaped the Carnival madness with only one head to toe soaking, I still have managed to catch a cold as the weather has shifted. The regular afternoon rains have resumed with some truly spectacular window-rattling thunder. In fact, on Monday we even had hail, which is pretty rare here.

Dear Lousy Weather: Please stop, I hate you!

Unlike me, the locals are very excited by all the rain. Dry conditions earlier in the year had led to rationing of power, with the municipal power out 2 - 4 hours daily to relieve stress on the hydroelectric systems. A lot of people supplemented with gas, which is what is used to power hot water systems and stoves here, but since the timing was never really clear, your lights and refrigerator could be out at weird times.

It was a monster pain in the rear, so torrential downpours have a smile on the locals' soaked faces. The cabbies have also been enjoying it, as they add a dollar or two on your fare for driving you around in the bucketing rain. It's not a huge deal, since you can still get across town for $5 or less, but it's still a bit of a pain.

Anyway, in some attempts to counteract the sniffle inducing weather, a group of us decided to venture up to little Banos, the thermal springs spa zone of Cuenca. It marked my first time riding a bus in Cuenca, which was kind of an adventure for me. Since the bus is only 25 cents a ride here, my friends were shocked I hadn't tried it before. Living downtown I walk to most things, so really hadn't had the opportunity before.

Banos was a good idea but a lousy experience. Going on a Sunday was dumb, for two reasons. One, the pools were really crowded, since no one had school or work. Secondly, the hot springs pools are cleaned on Wednesday nights and Sunday nights. This makes Sunday afternoons a little gross to my prissy American self. I didn't handle the crowd well with the murky water. Yes, I know thermal springs are murky naturally, but I have to believe that the little kid eating his chocolate popsicle in the kids' end of the pool didn't help!

Since then, the sniffles have not abated. I have a totally new appreciation for lotion enhanced Kleenex, since it is completely unavailable here in Cuenca and I have a red nose to rival Rudolph's! Drinking lots of 100% natural lemonades (70 cents - $1 a glass) and organic fresh squeezed orange juice (80 cents to $1.60 a glass) to try and give my body the ammunition to fight back. Really hope that it clears up by the weekend--planning some birthday outings and I definitely don't want to look like a snot nosed monster in my 30th birthday pictures!

Prices In Cuenca Ecuador, Part 1

2010-02-21T22:51:00.000-08:00

I did some shopping and baking this weekend, and thought I would share a few notes on the prices for goods and transportation here in Cuenca. Some things in Ecuador are cheaper than they are back home, while others are more expensive. See what you think of these 10 price comparison points:

Bus Trip: 25 cents
Optifree Express Contact Solution: $12.97 (Note that contact solution is not sold in supermarkets or big box stores. Nor is it sold at optometrists offices. Instead, it is sold at pharmacies, and kept behind the counter. Optifree and CIBAvision are the two brands that are sold here in Cuenca.)
400,000 volt taser: $38 (I didn't buy this, a friend did. No ID required.)
Jif Creamy Peanut Butter: $5.01 (small jar)
Ginger Root: 83 cents for half a pound
Milk (1 liter): 80 cents
Lemons: 35 cents for two big ones
10" Wood-fired pizza with ham, cheese, mushroom, green pepper, and bacon: $4.72
8 ounces of fresh squeezed pineapple juice: 70 cents at the sit down restaurant
3 pairs of ankle socks at the Tia (a supermarket): $1.59

Thoughts? Reactions? Let me know other things you'd like to know the prices of here in Cuenca and I can do some additional research!

An Update On The Facebook Hijacking

2010-02-21T22:46:00.001-08:00

Several people have asked about the Facebook situation, and I am sorry to report that there is no progress on that front. The staff at Facebook have been absolutely unhelpful in terms of getting my account back. It has been two weeks since I first reported the account being stolen, and I've followed up twice with no results.

I know that several friends also reported the account as hijacked, and I want to express my gratitude to each one of you who did that. I feel supported, even if the Facebook security team isn't taking action there either.

I may see about other options with Facebook this week, but I'm quite turned off by their lack of response to the security breach. I'm also quite mystified that they can be promoting themselves as a business platform if this is the kind of response time they offer for security issues!

Don't Let It Spit In Your Eye

2010-02-16T21:43:00.000-08:00

Tonight I met a new bug here in Cuenca. The Andes are not known for their insects, and other than a few flies and mosquitos I really haven't encountered any bugs up here at all.

Until I met the Atuto, as it is known locally.

This is the closest picture I could find online, because when I first encountered it, I wasn't thinking about pictures. No. I was thinking about flip flops, which is what I was wearing on my feet, and that fact that the bug was on my dining room floor between me and the bathroom. So I shrieked and ran for the neighbors to identify what it was and what to do about it.

Blame it on growing up in the Midwest, but I associate unidentified creepy crawlies with possible poison hazards. Who else has a grandma with a picture of a brown recluse on the side of her fridge? Midwesterners are just raised to identify poisonous vs. non-poisonous insects, and until I knew which side of the line my unwelcome three inch visitor feel into, I wasn't facing it alone.

My Atuto was all black, and in the flesh it looks a lot like an oversize grasshopper. So not really that harmful, right?

Wrong. While I was worried about jumping or biting, my downstairs neighbor volunteered "Don't let it spit in your eye!"

Excuse me?

It seems that the Atuto spits. . . or more accurately, projectile shits according to the experts over at Entemology.com. It's a vague relative of the bombadier beetle family and excretes a venom out its backside that includes hydroquinones and hydrogen peroxide, which creates a rash/burn on human skin. This burn is particularly harmful to open sores and tender tissues. . . like your eyes. Hence why the locals are adamant about not letting this one get its venom into your eye.

Fortunately, I was able to get my Atuto pinned under a glass and tossed out of the apartment down into the central garden where the pigeons can have their way with the thing. Shannon, who has lived in these apartments for over a year, says he's only ever seen one in his house, in the bathroom. They've seen a few in the garden area, but the Atuto's don't seem to be terribly interested in being indoors or being around people. Fine by me, as you may imagine!

I'll let you know if I see more (hopefully not!) and get a real life picture. Apparently the Atuto is highly localized to this part of the country, so it may be a challenge.

Caught at Work at Kookaburra Cafe

2010-02-14T07:55:00.000-08:00

To show you what the writer's life in Ecuador looks like, I might have preferred something where I was more awake and not recovering from moving house (more on that later!). However, this is what it looks like when you have a deadline and it needs to get done and the only way to get it done is to park yourself at a lovely cafe and make it work:

In action at the cafe!

Of course, before I whine too much, check out how much sunlight is in this photo. It was a gloriously sunny day, and I didn't spend much more of it inside.

Featured Freelancer in AWAI Newsletter

2010-02-12T11:38:00.000-08:00

As some of you know, I am a member of the American Writers And Artists, Inc. It´s a part of the Agora, Inc. learning and publishing empire, and I have taken a few of their training courses.

Recently, I responded to a call for statements about living the writer´s life. . . not expecting to see myself mentioned in the next newsletter! And yet there I am, congratulated on the AWAI main page and featured in their February 11th newsletter.

Here´s the text from the newsletter:

Two AWAI members who are traveling the globe … and why the "Writer's Life Rocks" for them:

Olive Wolfe is using her writing and photography skills to publish her first blog (http://followmyfootsteps.com/blog). Olive says, "[In 2009] I was in the Czech Republic once again and stayed in the Gustav Mahler hotel in Jihlava, led a tour to a Tuscany cooking school, returned to India in the Cochin in the Kerala province, then back to my old stomping grounds in London for the holidays."

Wow! Talk about living the dream. And …

Jen Adams has always been deeply passionate about travel, but was tied down to specific locations because of her work in corporate HR. Since becoming a full-time writer in 2008, she's been able to travel freely and pursue her passion.

Last year, she spent time in Argentina, Austria, Belgium, and England. This year, she's embracing her freedom even more, wintering in Cuenca, Ecuador.

Jen explains, "My clients don't know that I'm on the road so much. Thanks to the Internet, I can work continuously even as I roam. At 29, I'm living the life I dreamed of as a child, but didn't expect to have until I retired. My time is my own – I can work on interesting copy, deal with interesting people, and explore interesting places. I wouldn't trade it for the world!"

It's a brave, new world out there, and AWAI members seem custom-made for this change in thinking and attitude.

If I´d been thinking, I would have included a link to my blog, too, but hey. . . a shout out by name, even if they asked for it, totally made my day. Thousands of my writing peers see that newsletter, and I couldn´t be more thrilled!

Andes Style Weight Loss

2010-02-09T13:47:00.000-08:00

Losing weight at high altitudes isn't just a figment of my imagination. Several of the locals I have chatted with have mentioned that it is easy to lose weight up here in Cuenca. Theories have ranged from the organic nature of the local food to the absence of weaknesses like McDonald's and Dairy Queen.

However, researchers in Germany have now proven that a metabolism bump occurs when you spend time at high altitudes. This propels weight loss, and the phenomenon is also coupled with a natural decrease in appetites at high altitudes caused by changes in your leptin levels (leptin controls the hunger impulse).

To follow up, the researchers also noted that the subjects in their study were more active when they returned to their natural elevation. This is attributed to the altitude training effect, which is that when you hit a lower elevation, it's easier for your body to function, so you feel more fit and can be more active with ease.

Basically, it means that spending 9 weeks up in Cuenca is the best post-holiday diet ever. I'm eating lots of great food, but my body is burning through the calories faster. I've noticed a few pounds gone from my belly and arms, although my writers cushion is stubbornly retaining its shape. Still, it is nice to know that there are scientifically proven benefits to spending time here!

Internet Hijacking

2010-02-07T13:05:00.000-08:00

It seems my email and facebook accounts were compromised. I've recovered the email, but facebook is a really pain to get assistance from for this kind of thing. I'm so sorry! Working on it!

Writer On The Roam

Prices in Cuenca: 2012 Vice Squad Edition

Talking to the Taxis

Fresh Thoughts For 2012

A Certain Comfort In Routines

Adventure, Humpf.

Ecuador's Sleepy Vacation Season

Ecuador's President Renamed A Series Of Unprintable Words On Wikipedia

What Music Ecuadorian Kids Listen To These Days

Cuenca: A Home For America's Economic Refugees?

Freedom Is A State Of Mind

Now We're Mobile

Readjusting To Life In Cuenca

Who's Dead?

Waiting For A Taste Of Easter

Happy Teacher's Day ... Who Are You?

Missing The Cuenca Cheerleader

Crime In Cuenca

Don't Mess With My Showers

Tax Exhaustion

Charlie Sheen & My Grandfather

Another Noisy Day In Cuenca

Dear January, Where Did You Go?

Helicopters Over The Homefront

Pants From The Past

Limping Into 2011

The Digital Story of Christmas

A Christmas Merger

Notes On A Hospital Visit In Cuenca

What Volcano?

4 Ways Grading Makes Me Feel Evil

Preparing For Christmas In Ecuador

Utility Bills In Ecuador

Sweeney Todd In Spanish Kind Of Sucks

Buying Medicine In Cuenca Ecuador

I'm The Teacher, Dammit

Halloween & Other Happenings

Renting A Halloween Costume In Ecuador

If You Love Your Apartment, Don't Clean It

Baby Snatching? Seriously?

Visiting My Someday Home

Helium Homepage Featured Writer Today

Reactions In Cuenca To Ecuador's Police Strike

Police Strike In Ecuador Leads To Quiet Night

Ecuador Coup Seems Less Serious In Cuenca

Cuenca Mayor Assure Us All Is Well

Photos From The Police Strike In Ecuador

Police Strike In Ecuador; Cuenca Sitting Tight

A Taste Of India In Cuenca

From High School to College In Just 6 Days

Think South America Keeps Me From Football? Think Again!

Moving Time In Ecuador

What Do You Do With One Aspirin?

The Great Stove Thief Of Cuenca

Broken Keyboard = Blessing In Disguise

A Less Ghosty Ghostwriter

Cuenca's Hot Water Disappointment

Wi-Fi Hot Spots In Cuenca Ecuador, July 2010 Edition

O Visa, Where Art Thou?

Computer Repairs Overseas

Houston, We *May* Have A Visa

Dear Bureaucracy, I Hate You

A Fiery Morning In Cuenca

Deja Vu, Ecuadorian Style

Ecuadorian Visa Games Begin

Alaska . . . With No Camera, Naturally

The Texas Ten Conference Logo

Two Flavors Of Awesome: Zombie and Chocolate

$50 Sunglasses: The Dangers of Promotional Writing

I'm As Old As Pac Man

Career Pick Me Ups: Client Love

Writer Humor: I Shot The Serif

How To Really Quit Your Day Job

Twitter Trumped By Telephones In Small Towns

Freelancers Look Like Crap

Tax Tips For Writers

Adjusting Back To American Life

Why Ecuador and Why Cuenca?

Why Ecuador and Why Cuenca?

Happy Easter!

Houston, We May Have A Visa